There is a delightful woman, Linda, who works with Parkinson’s patients, and periodically she gives me a nudge to talk about my recovery experiences more in-depth so others may better understand the steps I took. I welcome her comments and suggestions just as I welcome everybody’s comments and suggestions. The way I see it, we are all in this together.
Last night, I received her suggestion that maybe it would be beneficial for current Parkinson’s sufferers to hear what it is like on the “other side,” meaning life without Parkinson’s. I will do my best.
When I had Parkinson’s, I was miserable and I was obsessed with being cured. I worked hard every day, never taking my eye off the prize. My eye was so busy looking at the future prize of being cured from Parkinson’s that on a daily basis it failed to look slightly left of my computer screen.
Slightly left of my computer screen is a statement that Socrates told Dan Millman in The Way of the Peaceful Warrior: We can control efforts, not outcomes. Combining this thought with the Zen books I was reading, I realized that I was so focused on the outcome, I was failing to live in the moment.
I can tell you that everyday I was working through my recovery there never was a doubt in my mind that I would be cured from Parkinson’s Disease at some future date. Accepting this allowed me to release it from my obsession of “wanting” it. I then was able to focus on what I was doing at each moment and enjoy the journey.
I will try to explain this better. When I get in the car and turn the key, I know the engine will start. I do not understand all of the nuances that take place, but I am confident in the process and I do not obsess over “wanting” the car to start. I just know it. And…once in a while it does not start. I can control putting the key in the ignition and turning it, my actions…everything after that relating to the car starting (the outcome) simply is not in my control. However, if my focus on the journey is maintaining the car with the proper diet, exercise and attitude, the likelihood of it starting every time is enhanced greatly.
That is what it is like being on the other side. Not only do I have a greater appreciation for my life and health than ever before, but I have a greater appreciation for the fact that life is a journey to be experienced. Not all of the experiences will be great, but I am taking pleasure in the moment of experiencing them. I can control my actions, not outcomes. I have no fear of living. That is what it is like on the other side…positive attitude and no fear of living. I do not know any other way how to explain this. I am happy!
All my best,
Howard
