A few days ago, I posted, “Fighting Parkinson’s, and keeping your faith strong.” In that post, I shared an excerpt from my November 15, 2009 personal Parkinson’s Daily Journal from when I had the disease. Many people commented on the blog and in emails to me that it was helpful to see what I was struggling through and to see that I did not lose faith. Today, I would like share with you my personal Parkinson’s Daily Journal entry from November 18, 2009, two years ago today, but I cannot.
November 17, 2009 was my last daily journal entry, and in March of 2010, I started this blog. My November 17, 2009 entry was difficult to write and hard for me to read even now, “Up at 4. Stiff, slow moving, got to the kitchen at 4:09.” I had written in the daily journal every day for almost two months, and I could write no more. The pain was too intense and barely anything was readable after the first two letters of each word. It takes a large dose of faith to continue with the Recipe for Recovery at that point, but I did.
Hindsight tells me that it was a blessing that I could no longer write in my daily journal. When I read through it, yes, there is a lot of hope and faith and love for my wife and children. However, I will have to admit that there was a whole lot of being consumed with living Parkinson’s instead of living life. Looking at it now, I see that I was measuring my deterioration, from how long it took me to get to the kitchen each morning to how stiff I was or how painful my rigidity had become.
I know I was measuring these things so I would know when I was recovering. How foolish was I. I had overlooked the fact that every day when I woke up and got out of bed and made my coffee and did my Recipe for Recovery, I was recovering. That’s right, recovering! I did these things because I had faith that I would recover. If we lack faith in our recovery, we stay in bed or we sleep so much we don’t know if it is day or night, and we don’t make our coffee in the morning, and we don’t do the Recipe for Recovery…what would be the point…we have no faith we will recover.
Faith is an interesting thing. When we are experiencing wonderful things in life, faith in ourselves and our lives is easy and natural. When we are experiencing difficulties in life, faith in ourselves and our lives is difficult and unnatural. Where we make progress in life is when we are experiencing difficulties in life and we still can find faith in ourselves and faith in our lives.
For those of you who are struggling with your Parkinson’s and shaky with your faith in yourself and your life, please seize this opportunity. Seize the opportunity to begin your recovery by having faith in yourself and faith in your life, which leads to faith in your recovery.
So, look inside yourself, find that spark of faith you used to have but misplaced somewhere along the way, and grab onto it, light it up, and say, “I have the power to heal myself.” Please remember to hold onto that spark of faith strongly…you will need it to fight your Parkinson’s on the bumpy road ahead. And while you are holding tightly to your spark of faith, take action against your Parkinson’s and defeat it! I did it. Marie did it. You can do it! Aren’t you worth it?
All my best,