Fighting Parkinson’s, and “okay” revisited

A couple of days ago I wrote about how fear impedes recovery. It seems appropriate to follow that up with a post on how acceptance and faith promote recovery. Not only do acceptance and faith promote recovery, but they defeat fear. Faith defeats fear straight out, and acceptance puts us in the proper frame of mind to push forward with solutions for our recovery. Solutions to make recovery actually happen defeat fear of what might happen.

I wrote about this on August 26, 2011 in Fighting Parkinson’s, and “okay.” Here it is:

“’Okay’ is the word I have come to use to denote acceptance followed by dealing with the issue and working toward a solution. There is a certain emotional detachment that comes with “okay,” but that type of clear-headed emotional detachment is what we need to beat this disease. However, I have to admit that it was Sally who first used the “okay” strategy when we realized I had Parkinson’s.

When I first realized I had Parkinson’s and Sally and I discussed it and then cried together, she settled down and said, “Okay, we need to put a plan together and figure out what we are going to do about this.” Looking back, I know this was the most loving thing she could have done because I had to put my “poor me” away and start to work on a solution. As I went through my recovery, I learned that “okay” meant acceptance. Remember, please, that acceptance does not mean acquiescence.

For me, “okay” came to mean, “I accept the situation as it is, right here, right now. What is my solution? What am I going to do about it, right here, right now?”

I have tremors all the time…”okay.”
My legs hurt…”okay.”
My back hurts…”okay.”
I am constipated…”okay.”
I have to hold on to the railing when walking up the stairs…”okay.”
I can’t get my utensil to my mouth…”okay.”
(I think you get the point)

Each “okay” meant this: “‘Okay,’ this is what is happening right here, right now, what am I going to do about it.” As you can see, this is quite different from, “My legs hurt, this means my Parkinson’s is worsening, soon I won’t be able to walk without a walker, soon after that I will be in a wheelchair.” “Okay” is a call to action. It identifies an issue and works toward a solution. The other response is emotions. It is fear and worry and anger about the future. It causes paralysis of the spirit, which causes paralysis of the mind, which causes paralysis of the body. This is the one situation where our fear of the walker and wheelchair, and doing nothing about, will provide us the paralysis we need to end up with the walker and wheelchair…we will get what we fear. Why not try, “okay,” and then do something to provide a solution to the problem.

What if we could say, “I have Parkinson’s and this is my Parkinson’s body…’okay.’” Accepting our Parkinson’s and our Parkinson’s bodies, with all of our newly discovered physical limitations and pains is part of the process of recovery. After Sally said let’s put a plan together, I read the book, What your doctor may NOT tell you about Parkinson’s Disease, by Dr. Jill Marjama-Lyons. It covered the medication and alternative approaches to dealing with the disease.

The thing is, I did not want to “deal” with the disease and I did not want to “maintain” the best possible life with the disease. Simply put, I did not want to have the disease, which is something we all have been told is impossible. However, recovering from Parkinson’s without medications was the only alternative for me. Faced with what I felt was the only alternative for me, I got on the path toward recovery and I never got off.

From what I had learned in Dr. Marjama-Lyons’ book, it seemed to me that Parkinson’s sufferers had been medicated for such a long time that experiencing the disease from a non-medicated body would be the way for me to best understand what was going on. I decided that if I experienced Parkinson’s as it was with no medications and no supplements and no pain killers, then I would understand Parkinson’s as it was…raw and unaltered…from inside a Parkinson’s body, and that would provide me the best opportunity to solve it and recover.

As it worked out, it was a good thing that I saw this as my only alternative because it was not easy. I was reminded of this in a coaching Skype recently when I said to the person, “Thank you for working so hard and sticking with the Recipe.” She looked at me and said, “What’s the alternative?” I smiled and explained that was exactly how I felt.

Back to “okay.” We need a lot of faith to take an “okay” attitude toward our Parkinson’s. It is the type of faith that says, ‘I know I will recover and I am getting on my path and I am not getting off until I recover.’”

So, you have Parkinson’s…”okay!”

What are you going to do about it, right here, right now?

Why not say, “okay,” get on your path to recovery with the Recipe for Recovery, and stay on your path to recovery until you fully recover.

Aren’t you worth it?

All my best,

Howard

 

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5 Responses to Fighting Parkinson’s, and “okay” revisited

  1. Barry says:

    OMG — this is such a great post: so subtle, so seemingly innocuous, so simple, so absolutely KEY to recovery — to our recovery, to MY recovery (that I glimpse this morning IS occurring). Okay, okay, okay OKAY!

  2. pratima says:

    okay, and yes i am worth it

    • Your Daughters & Family in US. says:

      Mummy, We All LOVE YOU!! We are so proud of you for the strength you have shown in fighting Parkinson’s. The Best thing that happened to you is “Howard”! We cannot thank him enough for sharing his experiences, and constantly guiding you through the process and of course to Pappa, our Dear sister, her husband and our brother for always being there and keeping their faith and patience. You are our greatest strength so Yes it’s OKAY!
      Love & Regards,
      Your Loving Family!

  3. I’m heading out for four days of work-related activity. I’m packing my bag full of “okays”

    Thank you once again, Howard!!

  4. Howard says:

    Thank you Barry, Pratima, and Penny. All of you sound “OKAY!”

    Blessings,
    Howard

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