I have written recent posts about faith over fear and about vulnerability. At some level in your Parkinson’s recovery, there is a crossroad where faith, fear, and vulnerability all stare you in the face at the same time. You have to have faith that when you expose your vulnerability, you have nothing to fear.
In my post last week, “Fighting Parkinson’s, and a reminder about faith and fear,” the following appeared in the comments:
“judy says:
May 30, 2013 at 4:28 pm
i guess i do have a problem with faith…..after all, all i have is a group of people online that i don’t know, haven’t even met…..i ‘ve made so many bad decisions in my life, why should i now believe that this decision (to do the recipe) is the right one?….true, i have nothing to lose….most of the people close to me don’t even know i’m doing this…..i’m hesitant (afraid?) to tell them because i know what their reaction would be….
maybe i have a self-image problem: “why should i be cured when so many aren’t?”….i feel weak right now, both in spirit and in body……how against the grain it goes to say, “i’m getting better”, when it appears that i’m getting worse….i want to persist, i want to believe…what do i have to lose?….i really would like some light at the end of the tunnel right about now…..”
This posted comment is an excellent example of vulnerability. This person, Judy, just to post this comment, had to have faith that there was nothing to fear in being vulnerable. And, it is true that not only did Judy have nothing to fear in being vulnerable, but good things happened in the way of other comments encouraging her on her path to recovery.
One of those comments came from Marie, who recovered from Parkinson’s one-and-a half years ago:
“Marie says:
June 2, 2013 at 3:44 am
Hi Judy,
When I first encountered Howard and his Recipe for Recovery online, in spite of my tremendous excitement, doubt would creep in. One of the important realizations for me as I moved towards making my commitment to follow the Recipe was just what you state here, “I have nothing to lose”. I ran through the objections I could think of rather quickly. fortunately for me, I could recognize myself in what Howard said. Through my life, I never wanted to try and fail at anything. there were worthwhile things I never attempted because I thought I would look stupid ( even if only to myself) if I tried and did not succeed. That was a big thing for me in my perfectionism.
I remember considering the possibilities about Howard. With my own perceptions I could see he was sincere as he explained how to do the Recipe. That gave me two choices
A) what he was saying was true
B) he was sincere but deluded. (Sorry, Howard! but I did consider it!)
Like you, I really had so little to lose….and so much to gain. You ask why should you believe this decision is the right one. Maybe it is more important to ask yourself, why should you not believe it? What,really, do you risk by following the Recipe for Recovery?
I am one of the people here online who you have not met. What am I doing here? And why? You can believe me or not believe me when I tell you that my life was completely changed by doing the Recipe. I have been symptom free since November 2011. And the reason I am writing to you is that I am so grateful, and really, still so amazed, that from the darkest deepest place of fear and discouragement that I ever experienced in my life, I emerged whole and healed by following the Recipe for Recovery.
Howard does so much to illuminate the way. But I think it may be true that each of us has to find a way…. through our own faith, through our own surrender and our own willingness…… to turn on that light at the end of tunnel.
Best wishes to you, Judy.
Marie”
Thank you, Marie, for sharing your story and encouraging Judy. For those of you considering coming to the Santa Fe workshop on June 29th, you might like to know that Marie lives in a neighboring town and she will be attending the workshop. That’s right, two of the three of us who did the Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery™ and fully recovered from Parkinson’s will be at that workshop. Click here for more information and registration.
In conclusion, when you reach the crossroad and you are staring at faith, fear, and vulnerability, know this: When you achieve the faith to fearlessly put down your guard and expose your vulnerability, you will be liberated…and you will know in your heart that there is nothing to fear…nothing.
I know you can do this!
You are worth it!!!
All my best,
Howard
thanks to all of you for your caring encouragement….esp., you, marie…..
i continue to struggle but i guess it’s a good sign that i’m willing to struggle,
and not just throw in the towel…..thanks, again to howard and all….
you impart hope on this bumpy road….
Hi Judy, so good to see your post here today. I just wish I could reach out and give you a big hug, and say to you ” of course it is a good sign that you are willing to continue to struggle!” Thank yourself for that willingness and for your courage. I hope will you take a few moments to really feel good about yourself, proud of yourself, for doing something difficult. Let your appreciation of yourself soak in. Rest in that sweet feeling. We can all be so hard on ourselves. Giving love to ourselves is powerful….Like little sips of elixir.
Sending love and best wishes to you, Judy, for your complete recovery. Marie
Hi, Nice thread, I would like to join in. I have Pd according to my neurologist (sighs). I also have a child with a disability, my wife is the carer, shes become run down. Am I angry, sad depressed? No. Whats the point. Re PD I think Howards onto it. Its about energy and electrics. God knows Ive been thrashing myself for years. Its beatable….but as a human we will always suffer…and die. IMHO there is a lot of credit to be gained from winding back from the crazy pace of modern living and connecting to the source. Howards passing on time tested methods to do this. Dom