Recently, I posted an excerpt from my Parkinson’s Daily Journal. My Parkinson’s Daily Journal was my personal journal that I started the day I began doing the Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery®, which was September 28, 2009. Many of you have commented to me that it helped you to see that I struggled just as you are struggling. Today, I would like share with you my personal Parkinson’s Daily Journal entry from November 18, 2009, four years ago today, but I cannot.
November 17, 2009 was my last daily journal entry, and in March of 2010, I started this blog. My November 17, 2009 entry was difficult to write and hard for me to read even now, “Up at 4. Stiff, slow moving, got to the kitchen at 4:09.” I had written in the daily journal every day for almost two months, and I could write no more. The pain was too intense and barely anything was readable after the first two letters of each word. It takes a large dose of faith to continue with the Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery® at that point, but I did.
Hindsight tells me that it was a blessing that I could no longer write in my daily journal. When I read through it, yes, there is a lot of hope and faith, and there is a lot of love for my wife and children. However, I will have to admit that there was a whole lot of being consumed with living Parkinson’s instead of living life. Looking at it now, I see that I was measuring my deterioration, from how long it took me to get to the kitchen each morning to how stiff I was or how painful my rigidity had become.
I had yet to let go of my perfectionism. Since I was documenting my Parkinson’s recovery, my perfectionism told me that I needed to document everything “perfectly,” right down to each thing I could no longer do each day that I could do the day before, including a full and complete analysis of my symptoms right down to the comparison of “are my symptoms better or worse today than they were yesterday.”
When I could no longer write in the daily journal, I stopped paying so much attention to the minutiae of the symptoms, and I stopped comparing each day to the day before. Since I was not documenting these things on a daily basis, my need to be perfect about what was going on with my symptoms disappeared, and my ability to be in the moment of what I was doing grew. My symptoms became nothing more than a reminder that I had more work to do in my recovery.
I know I had been measuring those things so I would know when I was recovering. How foolish was I. I had overlooked the fact that every day when I woke up and got out of bed and made my coffee and did my Recipe, I was recovering. That’s right, recovering…moment by moment…recovering just in the doing! And, I did my Recipe because I had faith that I would be cured. If you lack faith in your recovery, you stay in bed or you sleep so much you don’t know if it is day or night, and you don’t do the Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery®…what would be the point…you have no faith you will cured.
Faith is an interesting thing. When we are experiencing wonderful things in life, faith in ourselves and our lives is easy and natural. When we are experiencing difficulties in life, faith in ourselves and our lives is difficult and unnatural. Where we make progress in life is when we are experiencing difficulties in life and we still can find faith in ourselves and faith in our lives.
For those of you who are struggling with your Parkinson’s and shaky with your faith in yourself and your life, please seize this opportunity. Seize the opportunity to begin your recovery by having faith in yourself and faith in your life, which leads to faith in your recovery. Seize the opportunity to make this your November to Remember!
Right here, right now, look inside yourself, find that spark of faith you used to have but misplaced somewhere along the way, and grab onto it, light it up, and say, “I have the power to heal myself.” Please remember to hold onto that spark of faith strongly…you will need it to fight your Parkinson’s on the bumpy road ahead. And while you are holding tightly to your spark of faith, take action against your Parkinson’s, do the Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery®, and be your own cure! You are worth it!
Make the commitment to cure yourself from Parkinson’s!
Okay, everybody, put big smiles on your faces and chant together so the whole world can hear:
“Parkinson’s is curable.
I am my own Parkinson’s cure.
I am halting, slowing, and reversing the progression of my Parkinson’s.
I am extraordinary.
I am recovery.
I am doing great!
AND, I AM WORTH IT!!!”
All my best,
Gosh Howard…your timing is, as always, so amazing….as is your heart-sourced and consistent support. Key, for me, in all that you wrote on today’s blog post, are the words, “Where we make progress in life is when we are experiencing difficulties in life and we still can find faith in ourselves and faith in our lives.” You know, this is happening for me… you have supported me to ensure this happens. Yes, the road is often difficult, but I AM persisting…. my head and heart and soul full of courage and purpose. It is actually quite a wonderful journey. And for that…and for you…. and for our brave and growing community, I am so very grateful.
It felt like I was reading my own thoughts and feelings when I read this posting, Howard!
Thank you for your honesty and for your faith in recovery.
As I continue with the recipe I’m finding the meds aren’t working as well.
I’m not trying to figure it out. I’m holding faith that maybe this is OK!
Howard….Some of your comments describing your debilitating symptoms brought me to tears. You have obviously been there. I don’t know how you were able to press on. We have one another, but you were alone believing, and doing, the Recipe. Thanx again for your sacrifice and your availability to us. Your words are invaluable.
After doing the recipe exercises today with painstaking slowness and shakiness, and nowhere near as well as I could do them in the past (due to no longer being on any medication), I read this post. How timely for me, also, that Howard writes about letting go of perfectionism and keeping faith in recovery simply because we are actively engaged in the recipe. I am reminded of Marie sharing how she envisioned herself inside the iceberg chipping away with small instruments. Today I felt like I was using “Barbie size” tools to chip away at my giant iceberg. But nonetheless, I was still working on the iceberg, not sitting in the corner waiting for it to melt on it’s own. And for this Howard reminds us to rejoice! So today I ignore the symptoms that frighten those around me and perpetuate doubt. I know there are unseen wonders happening in my inner being that will one day
be revealed in the physical realm. I know because it is so for Howard and the others who have recovered. Thank you for continuing to share the details of your experience. There is much to learn from it!
I am also thankful for Penny and so many others who continue to offer personal comments and encouragement to the many who are
on this journey too. This is the path I am glad to have chosen. It is the path that offers true hope – every day.
Thank-you Pat Thats a beautiful post Pat very inspriring. Thanks to
Howard and all of you for sharing and encouraging.
Love to all
Thankyou and fellow travellers for your love and support for our community.
I have to reignite the spark of faith often and it is so good to know that I am not alone in this journey toward recovery. It may be taking awhile but I will get there in the end!!
Hi thank you Howard. My sister is staying with me for a few days and was trying to encourage me to start medication. I said No I feel a lot better than a year ago when I last saw her. She couldn’t see it as she was looking at the outward symptoms but accepted this. know I feel stronger wiser and will recover more and more. So good to have this faith this knowing. Thank you so much Howard and everyone we are mavericks on this path x
As you keep repeating Howard, so much power lies in our belief in our ability to heal ourselves. This video is a powerful validation of that: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWQfe__fNbshttp://
I agree with Jon …….. please dear community pay attention to this amazing video.
Howard has allowed us Through his wonderful posts, make conscious that the power is within each of us and the great difference between the concepts between Western medicine doctors telling us that Parkinson is “incurable” however each of we know that on the contrary, parkinson cure is within us, this video shows the big difference between Western thought medicine , (western doctors) and china thought medicine, focused on the healing of a terrible disease without using medication and only using the inner power of feeling and thought.
enjoy the video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfZqKa2pi9c&list=PLC06F6315F19A37A5&index=1
I actually believe in telepathy…just a few hours ago I mailed a request on Michal’s behalf asking Howard how he got over all his physical suffering, and now I join with Penny Wassman, Sally, Pat, and probably many others who haven’t been able to post their comment in thanks for this timely blog which is to undergo translation and posting further together with additional timely comments from our fellow fighters.
Thanks to all!
Thankyou for sharing your struggles along the path. For some reason it makes recovery even more real and within reach! I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for you to press on alone without a community of others to share the journey and encourage! I am so grateful to have found you! Grateful for your faith and pioneering spirit and that you never gave up! And that you had the determination to prove the medical model of PD wrong!
Thank you Howard and everyone else for all of your comments! This is definitely a timely blog for me. I have also been struggling with the belief in myself to recover especially when I have very difficult days. Penny, I especially liked your comments. They are very much in line with my thoughts and feelings.