In the few weeks, I have posted Fighting Parkinson’s, and learning to love…yourself, part 1, Fighting Parkinson’s, and learning to love…yourself, part 2, and Fighting Parkinson’s, and learning to love…yourself, part 3. If you have not read those posts, I highly recommend that you read them prior to reading this post. As I stated in part 1, this is going to be a multi-part series. Today’s post will be the final installment of the process I used to learn to love myself, and in the end, how I learned that it was not selfish, but was, in fact, necessary for my recovery…in my life and with my Parkinson’s.
You are uniquely you. It is not your accomplishments that make you special. It is not straight A’s that made you special. It is not hitting the home runs or scoring the most points or getting the lead in the play or the solo in band that made you special. It is not the job that made you special, or the promotions or the raises, or the leadership positions you held that made you special. It is not the classes you taught or the books you wrote or the degrees you obtained that made you special. It is not the school buses you drove or the children you counseled that made you special. It is not the patients you saw or the bandages that applied that made you special.
All of these are the illusions we created in our minds. We felt we needed to be over-achieving perfectionists in order to be special…in order to be accepted and like and loved. What we failed to realize is that we were accepted and liked and loved by the very people we were trying to impress. What we failed to realize is that the very people who we were trying to impress, through issues uniquely theirs, were incapable of conveying to us that we were accepted and liked and loved. So, in the end, the only one who did not accept us, and did not like us, and did not love us…was us.
All of this because somebody said or did something (or many things) in our lives that we held inside ourselves with silent, sub-conscious agony. And that silent sub-conscious agony set up a fortress of self-protection. And that fortress of self-protection said, “If I am invulnerable, control everything, over-achieve, strive for perfection, never feel that my best is good enough, do everything for everybody as they expect I should be doing, and never ever make a mistake, I have a chance to be happy.” And, since this is absolutely impossible to achieve, we became experts beyond comprehension in one thing and one thing only: self-criticism.
All of this because of the illusions created in our minds.
As a result, what occurred? We wore ourselves down, physically, mentally, and spiritually. We became filled with worry and stress and fear and anger and frustration and self-doubt and worry and self-loathing. We ate all the wrong foods and burned the candles at both ends and in the middle because burning the candle at both ends just was not good enough. And then, in what many see as the biggest failure in their life, we find ourselves with Parkinson’s Disease. So there is no confusion here, I want to be clear on an important point: Parkinson’s is a physical disease, period!
However, if we are honest with ourselves, we have to acknowledge and take ownership and responsibility that the life patterns outlined above helped bring the Parkinson’s symptoms to the surface. So, to turn this around you have to acknowledge and take ownership and responsibility of your life and make the changes necessary for your cure. You need to be your cure!
The mental/emotional part of the Recipe will help you lose your mind. Here is what that looks like:
Illusion of your mind. “If I am invulnerable, control everything, over-achieve, strive for perfection, never feel that my best is good enough, do everything for everybody as they expect I should be doing, and never ever make a mistake, I have a chance to be happy.”
Losing your mind: “If I am vulnerable, only control what I am doing in the moment and my emotional reaction to life, do not over-achieve, do not strive for perfection, know that my best is good enough, do things for others because it feels right in my heart, not worry about making a mistake, I will have happiness and joyfulness in my heart.”
The spiritual part of the Recipe grows the happiness and joyfulness in your heart into compassion for yourself, followed by forgiveness, acceptance, and liking and loving yourself. And when you achieve this, you realize that viewing the world from your heart actually is what is real. It is where you find God, or the Universe, or the Higher Consciousness, or the Energy that surrounds us all and connects us all. It is where you find love, and peace, and liberation from what had been the illusions of your mind.
It is where you can look at yourself and realize that loving yourself is not selfish, but instead, it is necessary…absolutely necessary to being a complete human being. And you let go, you surrender, you voluntarily give up the shackles of illusion that have kept you a prisoner in your own body, and in your own mind.
You realize that what is in your heart is actually you, and that he or she is BEAUTIFUL!!! What makes you special has been with you all along. However, your strong mind convinced you otherwise.
Lose you mind. Be the real you in your heart. Be cured.
Parkinson’s is curable.
Be your own cure.
I know you can do it.
You are worth it!!!
All my best,