After the last two posts about getting out of your mind and into your heart, many people have asked me about anger. What do I do about this anger that keeps surfacing? I have directed them a post I did about transforming anger, and everybody has commented to me that it helped them a lot. Here it is again to help all of you.
Anger. Many people ask me what to do about the anger they are feeling inside themselves. As you know, anger is at the top of my list of the three causes that bring Parkinson’s symptoms to the diagnosable surface. I have expressed it as: “1. Qi and Blood Deficiency, which is caused by emotional stress, anger, frustration, and resentment.” Part of Parkinson’s recovery requires letting go of anger. You know, that precious anger that you feel you have the right to hold, to nurture, and to call your own…that anger that, ultimately, you turn on yourself. Yes, THAT anger. You need to send it on its way.
Anger is like drinking milk that is beyond its expiration date and has gone sour. Stay with me on this one. You went to the grocery store yesterday and bought a quart of milk. Your mind was wandering and you did not look at the expiration date. You got home and threw away the receipt which went out with the garbage and was taken away early this morning. You open the milk, pour a glass, and it is sour and disgusting and starts to make you sick. You look at the expiration date and it was two weeks ago.
Anger. Here it comes. You are angry at the manufacturer for having expired milk on the shelf. You are angry at the stocking person at the store who left it on the shelf. You are angry at the cashier because she took your money when the milk was expired. Ultimately, you turn the anger on yourself because you should have checked the date and you should not have thrown out the receipt, and there will be no justice after you have been wronged.
And, whose fault is this? In the end, you decide this is your fault because you were not perfect, you could have prevented the situation, you were asleep at the switch, and now you have sour milk. At this point, you have two choices: 1. Continue to drink the milk; or 2. Let it go…throw it away.
If you continue to drink the milk, who is harmed? The manufacturer? No. The stocking person? No. The cashier? No. You? Yes. Only you are harmed. But you continue drinking the milk and harming yourself because it is your milk and you paid for it and you never will get your money back. And this is why anger is like drinking milk that is beyond its expiration date and has gone sour. You are the only one who is harmed if you do not let it go.
So, look inside yourself and visit where the anger comes from. It could be current events or events from long ago. The bottom line is this: holding onto your anger only hurts you! Forgiveness is a gift you can give yourself to help let go of anger. That’s right, a gift you can give yourself.
Whoever it is that made you angry, forgive them. By the act of forgiveness, you are taking away the power they have over you. You are giving away the negative emotions that are destroying your health and feeding your Parkinson’s. Forgiveness does not “let the person off the hook.” Whatever it is that they did to have you hanging onto anger all this time, they will have to live with themselves throughout life, and after.
However, by giving forgiveness, you release their hold on you, and you throw away the anger. Forgiveness is like saying, “I am giving back this negativity because I do not want it anymore.” And you become free from the anger attached to the words or events that caused the anger in the first place.
You do not need give the forgiveness to them personally as oftentimes the person is no longer presently in your life or has passed away. The forgiveness comes from your heart and can be given as a directed feeling from your heart during a time of quiet contemplation. If it truly comes from your heart unconditionally, it can be as simple as a feeling that says, “(Whomever), I forgive you for (whatever it is the person said or did).” Sit with the feeling and allow the previous feeling of anger to transform to compassion and forgiveness within your heart…and then let the anger go.
One more important thing to know here: At some point, since the anger comes back to you and you are directing the anger at yourself, forgiveness begins with you…be compassionate to yourself and forgive yourself for whatever it is in which you find yourself angry at you. Be compassionate and forgiving to yourself first, and you will feel so liberated in your life that finding compassion and forgiveness for others will be easier. This is a transformation that helps pave the way to you curing yourself of Parkinson’s.
Cause 1 of the causes that bring Parkinson’s symptoms to the diagnosable surface: “1. Qi and Blood Deficiency, which is caused by emotional stress, anger, frustration, and resentment.” Look at some descriptive phases for anger:
“His blood was boiling.”
“Steam was coming out of her ears.”
“His face was red with rage.”
“If looks could kill, her glare would have killed me.”
When I look at these descriptive phrases for anger, one word comes to mind: TOXIC. Anger is toxic. It is why anger negatively impacts the liver and leads to “Qi (your life energy) and Blood Deficiency.” If your blood is boiling so much that steam is coming out of your ears, it is unreasonable to believe that a weakened Parkinson’s liver getting fed impulses from a low-energy Parkinson’s brain is any match for your anger.
Give yourself the gifts of forgiveness and compassion, and let go of the anger. The anger is literally eating you up alive and it fuels your Parkinson’s. You will be amazed at the shift in your emotions when you say, “Okay, instead of choosing to be angry, I am choosing to be compassionate (first for myself, and then for the other person), and I am offering the gift of forgiveness from my heart.”
Now that the holiday season has ended, the first gifts of this new year you need to give are the gifts of forgiveness and compassion to yourself. Put them in a box, wrap them in beautiful paper, and top them with a lovely bow. Each time you feel anger starting to rise within you, begin the transformation by taking a deep breath and slowly opening your gift box filled with forgiveness and compassion. It is the gift you need to “re-gift” to yourself and others throughout the new year.
You will feel the shift from physical and emotional turmoil to spiritual calm and peace. It is a lovely transformation, and one that I highly recommend.
If the milk is sour, be forgiving and compassionate to yourself and let it go…throw it away. And smile.
You are worth it!!!
All my best,
Thank you Howard for another beautifully written gem. I feel as if I get a gift every time you share your wisdom with us.
As for anger, I have known it so well but I’m so happy to have let it go. There is a huge feeling of release when you do that. I recommend it to everyone.
Thank you, Howard…another wise, wonderfully empowering, and supportive post…
Thank you Howard for the direction that you offer.
I have learned that anger like worry is a waste of energy.
It keeps you stuck and prevents the healing flow of love.
Thank you Howard for your information, wisdom, time, and support. I loved this message the first time that you sent it out. I put it to the test in my own life, and found the great difference that choosing compassion, forgiveness and love over anger can make. I also love another statement that you made, ” I have carried this burden long enough. I forgive you and me. I now remove this burden from my life.” It is great how this works. It doesn’t matter whether the angry stems from little every day issues, great long time issues or from anything in between .
Wishing everyone a very happy, healing day , while dumping all that sour milk.
I am my own Parkinson’s cure. I am worth it and so are each of you .
Love and Blessings
Another beautifully expressed piece of information for us, made so clear that it can’t be mistaken. Love your analogy. Thanks Howard, Love and blessings, Lohren
Thank you Howard couldn’t be any clearer. Peace glorious peace.
I recently tried this on an individual who treated me badly. I allowed this person to make me angry and I discussed this situation with you, Howard during our last Skype session. I allowed this individual to ruin my day. You recommended that I have compassion for this person, and their insensitivity, which never dawned on me and what a difference it has made! I have since tried to have compassion for a lot of situations that would have otherwise angered me! Thankyou Howard for your great insight! Melanie
Buna tuturor,suntem persoane sensibile si inteligente vulnerabile la aceasta miZerabila boala,dar daca respectam informatiile primite de la Howard de o complexitate si ratiune fantastica vom avea doar de castigat.va imbratisez cu drag LEO
Hi everyone, we are sensitive and intelligent people vulnerable to this miserable disease, but when the information received is from Howard explaining the complexity, it is fantastic reasoning, and we have just won. Fondly with hugs, LEO
Hi Howard, great post. I think I have mastered my anger and well on my way with the frustration challenge. It’s constantly there as my legs are either like jelly but mainly stuck to the floor. It is interfering with my sleep as movement exhausting even in bed to get comfortable. My mind is screaming ” you’re heading for the wheelchair” so the challenge and discipline daily is enormous but I keep chanting ” this is necessary for my recovery, I Am My Soul” .
On forgiveness ” Forgiveness Is The Fragrance The Violet Leaves On The Sole of The Foot That Has Just Crushed It”
With Love To All.
Glad that you “keep on keeping on”. See you at the finish line……….healthy and strong 🙂 🙂
Have a great Doing Recovery week!
Hi Little Miss Sunshine Debbie,
Oh the Joy of that day when we cross the finish line! Please God let it be this year! 🙂
Hope you’re doing great Debbie.
I am doing great !! Hope everyone else is doing great! Remember your best is always good enough, and as long as you are doing the Recipe. you are doing great 🙂
HI Howard and everyone, I really was angry during our Skype session this week – I’ve finally admitted it. And to pick the milk story to make your point – could not be more on for me as I struggle with gut issues, what to eat, when and what kind of milk!!!! You pick me up by my bootstraps , I feel better and then I KNOW again that I can do this, healing is possible. Then I found the box, beautifully wrapped in christmas decor, a star on the top and PEACE written on it – I put it together last year 2013 and filled it with positive messages, then forgot about it. there are no coincidences, just a guiding hand in whatever form it takes leading me on to the finish line, forgiveness, gratitude and love, Marilyn