Fighting Parkinson’s, and liberating yourself…from yourself

You are caught in a difficult cycle. Your over-thinking, self-criticizing, Adrenaline-driven mind does not want to let you create conflict and fight for yourself. It realizes that when you win, it loses. What you need to realize is that this is an unhealthy way to exist. You need to liberate yourself…from yourself.

Unhealthy Relationship. Let’s suppose you are in a relationship with another person, and for most of the day, every day, the other person tells you these things:
1. You are not worthy.
2. You are not deserving.
3. You are not pretty or handsome enough.
4. I do not like your tremors.
5. I do not like your stiffness.
6. I do not like your slowness.
7. Your speech is poor.
8. You are not good enough.
9. You are wasting your time doing this Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery®.
10. It is selfish to put yourself first in your recovery.

If you are completely honest with yourself, you will have to agree that this is an unhealthy relationship. It is such an unhealthy relationship that at some point you would feel compelled to say, “Enough! I have to end this unhealthy relationship.”

Here is the difficult part:

WHAT IF THIS IS THE RELATIONSHIP YOU ARE HAVING WITH YOURSELF!

How can you expect to move forward in your life and in your Parkinson’s recovery if you think so little of yourself that you spend your days and nights in self-criticism? This is a very difficult issue. When I had Parkinson’s, for months I would have a morning argument with myself about all the reasons why it was pointless to be doing the Recipe.

It is incredible how many excuses an Adrenaline-driven-self-criticizing-mind-mode can spew out, rapid-fire, to try to derail a Parkinson’s recovery: “The Recipe won’t work…who are you to think that you will develop the cure…Sally and the children are sleeping so who will know if you skip today…do you really think you are worthy and deserving of being cured…face it, your tremors and slowness and stiffness will be with you forever…why are you wasting your time…why are you being so selfish having Sally and the children help you do things you used to do yourself”……..this is a very long list, and one to which I am certain you can add your own self-criticisms.

Healthy Relationship. Let’s suppose you are in a relationship with another person, and for most of the day, every day, the other person tells you these things:
1. You are worthy.
2. You are deserving.
3. You are pretty or handsome enough.
4. Your tremors do not bother me.
5. Your stiffness does not bother me.
6. Your slowness does not bother me.
7. Your speech is fine.
8. You are good enough.
9. You are not wasting your time doing this Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery®.
10. It is not only not selfish to put yourself first in your recovery…it is necessary.

If you are completely honest with yourself, you will have to agree that this is a healthy relationship. It is such a healthy relationship that at some point you would feel compelled to say, “I love you, too!”

HOW DO YOU MAKE THIS HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP THE RELATIONSHIP YOU ARE HAVING WITH YOURSELF!

My last two posts give you the foundation for liberating yourself…from yourself (your mind). By doing this, you open the pathway to the joy in your life and your journey to full recovery. Here they are again for easy reference:

Click here for Fighting Parkinson’s, and creating conflict.
Click here for Fighting Parkinson’s, and fighting for yourself.

When you put all of this together, here is what it looks like in reality:

You are doing the Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery®, so you are getting better. In response to your recovery, your mind is losing its place of power, so it decides to scare you with worse looking symptoms.

You respond by saying, “No you are wrong. I am getting better!!!” In response to this, your mind throws fear at you and throws worse looking symptoms at you. And you again respond, “No you are wrong. I am getting better!!! I am worthy and deserving, and I am doing the soul, mind, and body Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery®. This means that I am ending our unhealthy relationship forever!!!”

Then, your mind responds as it always does, and in the face of worse looking symptoms, you remain rock solid: “No you are wrong. I am getting better!!! I am worthy and deserving, and I am doing the soul, mind, and body Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery®. This means that I am ending our unhealthy relationship forever!!! I am liberating myself from you!!!”

Momentarily, things calm down. But your mind is angry and frustrated that you are creating conflict with it and that you are fighting for yourself against it, so it plots against you and builds up its strongest arsenal of worse looking symptoms and fears with which to brutalize you.

And then, your mind comes in the house, slams the door, and just as it is about to unleash its wrath against you, it realizes that you are gone and the house is empty. You have left your mind because you have fallen in love with your heart and soul. This feels so good that your body goes with you. And, where does this leave your mind? Empty. Just as it is supposed to be.

Liberate yourself…from yourself!
Liberate your heart and soul…from your mind!
Liberate your life…from your Parkinson’s!

You are worth it!!!

All my best,

Howard

 

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7 Responses to Fighting Parkinson’s, and liberating yourself…from yourself

  1. Addy says:

    Thanks so much for the liberating post, Howard!

    To help remind myself of the battles I’ve won against my own mind, I keep detailed journal entries of those days when I DO FEEL better while getting better (like today). I jot down what this good feeling is like specifically, and how this would not have been possible if I have not been actually getting better. Reading these journal entries on those days when I am experiencing worsening of symptoms really helps with building the much-needed resilience in me throughout this journey of self-healing.

    Just keep fighting!

  2. Tony says:

    Thank you for this awesome post, Howard. It truly is a battle of the mind. The body is always following your thoughts whether they are positive or negative. To get your body back, you must first get your mind back. Thank you for all your help and guiding us in the right direction.

  3. Pippa says:

    I totally get this Howard! Thank you

  4. Zeljko says:

    We are fighting our automatic thoughts (adrenaline based) and replacing them with more rational thoughts. In this way we are clearing the way for new heart based thoughts (dopamine). This is brain “rewiring” for opening dopamine faucet. This is recovery firmware. As you already know, it is not an easy challenge, but it is possible and absolutely necessary.

  5. Tery Brun says:

    Dear Howard

    Wonderful advice again!!! We knew about it, but with your reminder it helps to feel much better!! Thank you so much!!!

    Love,

    Your thankful

    Tery and Werni

  6. Christiane from Germany says:

    I thought, I know it all!

    But every blog you come up with something surprising, inspiring and truly awesome!!

    Thank you so much for your loving kindness….

    With all my love,
    Christiane

  7. Melanie S says:

    Wonderful thank-you. I’m beginning to have the odd day when I actually feel good all day in myself, regardless of the fluctuations in symptoms. I’m getting there. Am thinking of you all dear friends with great compassion for all we have suffered. X

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