Many people believe, as did I when I had Parkinson’s, that they are special based upon achievement and performance. When the Parkinson’s reduces the ability to achieve and perform, many people lose confidence in themselves, and their self-worth plummets. What you need to know is that you are special simply because you exist!
In November of 2017, I wrote a book entitled, “Fighting Parkinson’s…and Winning.” To understand just how special you are simply because you exist, it would be helpful to re-read pages 98-113 in the book. If you have the Kindle version, it is near the end of Part Two in a section entitled, “I viewed the healing of my soul primarily as a 4-step process.” Then read the next section about gratitude to the end of Part Two.
If you do not have the book, you can click here and purchase a paperback or download a Kindle ebook from Amazon.
To assist all of you, here is an excerpt from my book:
I understood in my heart and soul that I was uniquely me. It was not my accomplishments that made me special. It was not straight A’s that made me special. It was not hitting the home runs or scoring the most points or getting the lead in the play or the solo in band that made me special. It was not the great job that made me special, or the promotions or the raises, or the leadership positions I held that made me special. It was not the schools I attended or the degrees I obtained that made me special.
My thinking for almost all of my life had been that these were the things that made me special. However, that type of thinking was nothing more than the illusions I had created in my mind. I felt that I needed to be an over-achieving perfectionist in order to be special…in order to be accepted and liked and loved.
I had gotten the impression that acceptance, being liked, and being loved was based upon performance and achievement. This was because no matter how hard I tried and no matter what were my achievements, it never seemed to be good enough.
In my recovery, I understood that my achievements had been more than enough. However, I gleaned that the people from whom I was seeking approval, being liked, and being loved had been incapable of expressing these things to me as a result of their own life issues.
Ultimately, this brought me to a place of not approving of myself as well as not liking or loving myself. I felt that my best was not good enough. The people who had given me this impression had moved on in life. However, I was the one who had gotten stuck internalizing unhealthy feelings about myself.
Then, I broke free and became liberated. I understood that I was special simply because I existed.
Every one of you is special simply because you exist!
You are worth it!!!
All my best,
Thank you for the support and encouragement Howard – have a great day xxx Jan-UK
Thank you Howard this really hit home. As a people pleaser all my life I think I finally get it. What a relief I don’t have to kill myself to be the Best mother/wife/friend, my family loves me no matter what, and being ill really demonstrates that. I, on the other hand, can also love them where they are at without expectation what a joy!
I feel lighter in my step already !!!
Happy Mother’s day to Sally and all the Wonderful Moms out there. Enjoy being pampered by our families who we are so fortunate to love us so much xoxox
Yes, Howard, you are so right. It took me a long time to realize this and I still struggle with some of those issues, but Parkinson’s sure makes you sit up and take notice! I have in the last three months begun to go inward seeking more of me. It is amazing what I am discovering! Loving yourself is paramount, then you feel more like giving to others.
Living in stress all of the time wears out the body. Living from the heart allows us to create the life we want. I have also learned that the heart has brain neurons! How cool is that? When we breath “through the heart” we create heart-brain coherence. When we feel love, blood rushes to the heart and it actually gets larger. Remember how the Grinch’s heart grew when he felt love for the town? So much to learn.
Thank you Howard for bringing up such an important topic. Happy Mother’s Day to Sally.
Love to all, Lohren
Thank you, dear Howard
Hmmm… The price for being genuinely loved and appreciated seems very affordable. Just exist! I seem to have achieved that some time ago. 😅
Thanks for the hot tip, Howard.
Much love, appreciation and congratulations to my fellow Parkinson’s warriors – you exist!
Chris in Wisconsin
PS: Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there! You’re the essential key to our existence…