Recently, a few people have mentioned that they do not know what they will do after they have their full recovery. They seemed anxious about not knowing “what’s next,” and it is creating a blockage in their recovery journey. I have reminded them that life goes on and not to create another worry as an impediment to their full recovery.
One of the shortest posts I have written is the post regarding my full recovery. Here it is:
“In my last entry, I explained how close I was to full recovery from Parkinson’s. In response, a friend sent me a note I read Friday morning that suggested I surrender my ego to my teacher and be done with it (Parkinson’s). I was confused.
I always have associated the term ego with being big-headed or full of oneself, so I needed to think about what she meant. Later in the morning I realized what it was — even though I was recovering, my ego, consciously and subconsciously, still was attached to the idea of me having Parkinson’s. I had to let that go, essentially surrender my ego to my teacher, the Higher Power, and just let go.
Friday night before I went to bed, I meditated on this realization and let go. On Saturday morning, I was symptom free. On Sunday, I cleaned the garage. It was the first time I ever have viewed cleaning the garage as a blessing.
All my best,
Howard”
What was next? Cleaning the garage. Life goes on.
In the last couple of months of my recovery, I no longer could work; my symptoms had become too harsh. However, I did not worry about “what’s next.” I stayed focused on “what’s now.”
I had come to realize that for the previous 49 years I always was in a hurry to get to what’s next. Why? Because I saw my value as a human being to be based upon achievement and performance. If I was not achieving and performing, then I felt worthless.
However, this is how I was acting, how I was thinking, and how I was feeling when I got Parkinson’s. Acting, thinking, and feeling differently is what would get me better from Parkinson’s.
My new way of acting, thinking, and feeling was the authentic me. The way I had been acting, thinking, and feeling for the previous 49 years was not the real me, but instead, the me who I had become based upon how I felt I was expected to be.
In the end, I needed to be the real me, the one I could not describe, the one who was special simply because I existed.
And I let go of everything I was not, in favor of whatever would come next, even though I had no idea of what that would be. It was complete faith, and it overtook any fear I had remaining within me.
That was Friday night, June 11, 2010.
On Saturday the 12th, I was symptom free.
On Sunday the 13th, I cleaned the garage.
Okay! Apparently, that is what was next (at least in the short term). Life goes on.
You are worth it!!!
All my best,
Howard
Wow, this is most timely. My garage needs a good cleaning too!
And my basement, and my yard, and my study…
Love to all,
Chris in Wisconsin
Hi Howard and fellow warriors.
Oh my God the joy to be fully recovered, just to walk properly, and just to do every day life with ease would be absolute Joy. I can’t believe the people are worried about what to do next after recovery . Here are some of my recommendations. Dance in the rain. Go for a long walk just because you can. Jump on a plane go somewhere you have always wanted to go. Dance dance dance because now your body is able to do that. Climb into the bath and have a long soak because your can now. On a windy day hang out your washing on the clothes line because you can. Rescue a pet because now you can look after them properly. Jump in your car and drive to the nearest beach and stand in wonder at the magnificence of it all. I could go on and on and on at all the simple things I intend to do when I fully recover.
Big love to all.
Karen xx
Ha ha ha LOVE it Karen, maybe I can do some of those today!
Margaret I wish I could do any of them! My mobility is poor so I sit a lot so I get a lot of pain in my lower back. Getting comfortable it’s such a challenge so I don’t get out to travel far. Everywhere I sit in my home has a different combination of cushions. We all seem to be at different stages of challenges and mobility of this disease. My last plane journey was a few years ago to Mexico, the nearly finished me off ha ha.I still count my blessings every day for what I still can do. As my friend Cynthia would say ” May God part the waves for us soon” xx
Karen –
I’m going on vacation next week. I’m definitely taking your suggestions along for the ride. Thanks a lot!
– Chris
Always a pleasure Chris. Have an amazing holiday my friend. xx
Just exactly what I needed to hear. I have been asking myself that question for weeks now. What’s next? What will I do when I’m symptom free? Great post Howard!
Living in the moment is not always the easiest thing for me to do, especially as my energy is increasing and I’m feeling better and better. I keep getting reminders that this is where I need to be though. The last 20 years of my life is a blur of jumping onto the next thing, which is partly why I am here today with Parkinson’s. Since this has been brought to my attention I am slowly but surely working on breaking the habit. The rewards physically, mentally and emotionally so far have been wonderful and fill me with gratitude!!!!
As they say in AA “one day at a time!”
Thank you for the beautiful reminder and encouragement Howard!
Love to you and all my friends out there xo
How I look forward to cleaning the garage, my shoes, brass light switches, and my soul.
Thank you Howard – truely inspirational xx
Hello All,
My first reaction was also one of ‘worry about what to do in my full recovery?’ But then I realized that we all process things differently, and my way is only correct for me. We are all doing our best.
Also, I wanted to mention one thing to everyone here. My mom bought me a copy of Howard’s book and I just finished reading it. It really put a new light on The Recipe and Howard’s evolution through it. If you haven’t read it, I recommend it wholeheartedly. This website is admittedly great, but the book brought a depth that I didn’t get simply from the website.
Great post, Howard!! Hope all are now a step further to their recovery👍Thank you!!!
How timely this is! I just started wondering about this yesterday.
Thank you, Howard. Godspeed to us all.
We’ll have no problem when John recovers from Parkinson. We plan doing all the great & wonderful things we’ve put on hold while waiting to recover, including celebrating with all 8 of our children. Won’t they be happy, they can truely enjoy their dad once he recovers. Love & best to all
So enjoy everyone’s comments and especially Howard’s explanation of the simplicity of our lives and how to be guided by knowing that life goes on after PD!
Love and light to all!
I believe the EGO has much to do with maintaining the Parkinson’s attitude and therefor the symptoms. I can feel my EGO fighting my recovery. It is stubborn. It always wants to have control. I will now concentrate on meditation and placing my entire being in God’s hands.
Thank you Howard, God Bless you for your constant support and encouragement.
Larry
Good Morning Friends:
Although I’m stepping in at the fray I feel I know most of you from months of reading Howard’s blogs – and THANK YOU Howard for those! You are all an inspiration and give great hope through this healing process. When I was diagnosed with PD all I could think about was getting back to the way I was…. but this process, this Recipe has brought a new quality to my life that I’m looking so forward to taking with me post-PD. Yes, it will be great to move effortlessly but before each step will be a simple note of gratitude for this life as it is and as it rolls out before me. Happy Healing to you All.