Over the last week or so, I have sent a previous blog post to a few people, and it has had a substantial impact in them feeling worthy. This has elevated their recoveries. It seems most appropriate to re-post it for all of you here today.
From June 29, 2016’s “Fighting Parkinson’s, and YOU ARE WORTHY!!!, part 2.”
“When your family, friends, or helpers are helping you, it serves them too. They feel love and compassion for you and they feel the joy of being able to assist you because you are their friend and you need their help. It is no different than how each and every one of you would act if the roles were switched. Keep accepting that you are worthy and deserving of their assistance. Make this your new habit as well. YOU ARE WORTHY!!!”
Many people explained to me that they simply could not accept the assistance without feeling worse about themselves. Mostly it was because they were used to doing for others, with the Parkinson’s they felt they had nothing to offer others (especially nothing to offer in return to those who were assisting them), and so the assistance just made them feel worse about themselves.
I explained to them that I suffered in the same way. It had been over six years since I had thought about a conversation that Sally and I had regarding this topic. She sat me down and asked if she had said or done anything that made me feel like it bothered her to be assisting me with certain things around the house.
I told her of course not and that I was quite grateful for the things she and our children were doing to assist me. She then pointed out to me something that I had been doing but was completely unaware. Sally told me that when she or our children were assisting me with things around the house, I was apologizing to them that they had to help me. She pointed out to me that they were assisting me because they loved me and that I needed to figure out whatever was my issue because I needed their assistance but I was making them feel badly when they helped me.
After a lot of soul-searching, I realized that I felt unworthy of their love. I was the one who was supposed to be doing for them and I was failing them. How unfair it was to them that I had Parkinson’s. I didn’t even like myself enough to feel compassion for myself about the Parkinson’s, but only to feel how unfair it was for them. I remember thinking, “This is not the life they signed up for, me with Parkinson’s.”
Sally is the wisest, most compassionate soul to have graced my life, so I heard her words and took them to heart. At first, it was quite difficult, but I responded to assistance from Sally and our children with “Thank you” or “Thank you. I love you” or “Thank you. I love you, too.” It was healing for all of us.
I have cried with quite a few people this last week who are experiencing the same situation that I had experienced, and three who told me that their spouse or significant other has had a very similar conversation with them as the one Sally had with me.
I was discussing this with Sally a few days ago and she told me that she loved me so much and I was such a special person to her that it was very painful for her to see that I was struggling so much with even being able to like myself. As you all know, I eventually got all of this worked out and learned to love myself and to know that I am worthy.
On that note, I feel compelled to tell all of you one of the most important things you need to know about yourselves:
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!
Yes, you have Parkinson’s physical symptoms.
Yes, you have an adrenaline-driven over-thinking Parkinson’s mind.
Yes, the Parkinson’s physical symptoms and the adrenaline-driven over-thinking Parkinson’s mind have polluted you with so much toxicity that your beautiful, radiant, abundantly healthy, joyful, loving, compassionate, forgiving, grateful soul is covered up with Parkinson’s toxicity.
However, the Parkinson’s body and mind toxicity never permeate your soul, the real you. So let’s be clear one more time:
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!
In your soul:
You are abundant health. You are allowed to be abundantly healthy.
You are joy. You are allowed to be joyful.
You are gratitude. You are allowed to be grateful.
You are happiness. You are allowed to be happy.
You are love. You are allowed to be loving.
You are forgiveness. You are allowed to be forgiving.
You are compassion. You are allowed to be compassionate.
You are special just because you exist. That’s right. You need to accept this. You are special just because you exist. Your achievements, attainments, performance, and successes, they are icing on the cake. You are the cake, your heart and soul, perfectly baked just because you exist, uniquely you. And, a perfectly baked cake doesn’t need any icing at all. It is gloriously radiant all by itself.
Your mind has you confused, and it has hypnotized you into thinking that if you are in a physical position where you cannot maintain your level of achievements, attainments, performance, and successes that you no longer are special and that you are worthless. This is the battleground where you have to un-hypnotize yourself by combatting your mind with the truth of the following affirmations to be repeated again and again and again until your mind waves the white flag and surrenders.
Okay! Everybody together so that we rock the world:
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!
I am abundant health. I am allowed to be abundantly healthy.
I am joy. I am allowed to be joyful.
I am gratitude. I am allowed to be grateful.
I am happiness. I am allowed to be happy.
I am love. I am allowed to be loving.
I am forgiveness. I am allowed to be forgiving.
I am compassion. I am allowed to be compassionate.
Parkinson’s is curable.
I am my own Parkinson’s cure.
I am slowing, halting, and reversing the progression of my Parkinson’s.
I am extraordinary.
I am recovery.
AND, I AM WORTH IT!!!”
Okay everybody. Here we are together, four years after I wrote this post. My feelings have not wavered: Each and every one of you is worthy, and you are allowed to be worthy, simply because you exist.
We are a worldwide community of people doing the Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery®, and we are here on this website and blog to love and support each other. I am grateful for everybody who is here to help themselves and help the others as we keep curing Parkinson’s, one courageous warrior after the next.
You are worth it!!!
All my best,
Howard
Thank you Howard this really helps, sometimes I do feel like I need to be in control of everything, I will be more accepting of help from family.
……………and with that surrender comes a great peace, joy and love of myself and others. Ms. People Pleaser here always felt I had to anticipate the wants, needs and desires of others – my needs took a back seat. Thanks to working the recipe I’m learning to accept help, love and care from others and it feels great. Looking back I think the old me created anxiety as I was constantly on edge trying to figure out what I thought would make people happy.
Thank you Howard!
Love to all
xoxox
Margaret
Oh my gosh Margaret! Reading your answer gave me goosebumps, you’ve just described my exact same story. I found Howard’s book after being diagnosed with PD recently and started using the recipe on my own. I’m still at the beginning stage and find it hard to give myself some attention without feeling guilt. This particular quote describes me very well “I was constantly on edge trying to figure out what I thought would make people happy. ”
I might consider getting direct coaching from Howard…
Best wishes to all!
Hi Marianela,
Welcome!
Lucky you finding Howard and Fighting Parkinson’s early after diagnosis! I highly recommend coaching with Howard, he is amazing. I have had so many ah-ha moments, and I believe I have grown spiritually, mentally, and emotionally more in the past year than the previous five decades.
Wishing you monumental healing, love and blessings!
Best,
Margaret
Thanks so much for your encouraging words Margaret, I look forward to heal my life through this challenging condition.
My warmest regards,
Marianela (or Nela)
Awesome, we’re all here for each other!
Right post, right time…thank you Howard!
Howard, thank you! This is an important lesson to master.
Sharon in North Carolina
“O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;”
– From the prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi
So if we want our friends and relatives fo receive loving kindness and compassion, the best thing we can do is give them the opportunity to treat us with loving kindness and compassion. That’s the strange but wonderful way the Universe works.
And we know that we will enjoy doing the same for others when we recover. This giving and receiving of love along with the swapping of roles is the very life breath of the Universal Soul.
Thanks, Howard, for bringing this to our attention again with your beautiful and nurturing blog post!
Feeling worthy in Wisconsin,
Chris
Chris,
Beautiful! I love the prayer of Saint Francis. I have it on a beautiful stained glass picture in my window right over the kitchen sink. Reading it and seeing it releases stress and tension and gives me a nice little dopamine shower!
Love and blessings,
Margaret
Thanks Margaret. I really appreciate the loving and joyful energy you bring to the blog!
Love and blessings to you too,
Chris
♥️ ♥️ ♥️
Thank you Howard, wonderful post!! It helps to release the negative thoughts we don’t need anymore, as we are on the way to recovery!! I am allowed to be worthy and healthy!
A very timely post, which I needed it for my confidence and recovery.
I am WORTH IT and GRATEFUL for my LIFE.
My wife and Children are fully behind me and encouraging and supporting me with my recovery.
Howard thank you for the post.
Well Howard, I just bought a new printer and I will use it to print out the message in that blog, so I can tape it to the inside of my wardrobe and read it every morning before my exercise and meditation as I start my day.
So many things you and the other contributors say ring true, everything I do I over analyse, I planted a tree, and then asked myself if it was too near the other tree – accept it is ok! I put a memorial plaque at the tree base and when the post cement set I asked myself if the plaque faced exactly the right way and was it square and level enough -accept it is ok everybody else loves my work, why don’t I? I do my exercise and then feel I have not done enough! -Accept it is ok
Well I do have to say thank you to you Howard your teaching lessons I need and I know I need them but I can see – NO But’s – Acceptance.
I also found the stone in the pond blog very inspirational.
Thank you and love to you all
Graham
Very cool and nicely written! I like your work too.
– Chris
Thank you Howard for the reminder, and everyone for their share which reminds us that we can cure and control certain aspects of our recovery. We can’t control the past and what got us here, but we can change our attitudes toward ourselves and family. With gratitude and self-love and opening our hearts, we are healing. This is the foundation of what will allow our bodies to follow. I am grateful to all of you for your honesty, integrity and beautiful souls. I am filled to the brim with hope and blessings.
Love and light, Pamela