Two posts ago, I wrote about opening your heart. In my last blog post, I wrote about the one-year anniversary of Elaine’s full recovery. These blog posts have sparked many inquiries into the issue of “loving yourself.” Today, I will address this further.
In my book Fighting Parkinson’s…and Winning, pages 98-113 encompass loving yourself in the part entitled, “I viewed the healing of my soul primarily as a 4-step process.” Here is an excerpt to assist you:
I understood in my heart and soul that I was uniquely me. It was not my accomplishments that made me special. It was not straight A’s that made me special. It was not hitting the home runs or scoring the most points or getting the lead in the play or the solo in band that made me special. It was not the great job that made me special, or the promotions or the raises, or the leadership positions I held that made me special. It was not the schools I attended or the degrees I obtained that made me special.
My thinking for almost all of my life had been that these were the things that made me special. However, that type of thinking was nothing more than the illusions I had created in my mind. I felt that I needed to be an over-achieving perfectionist in order to be special…in order to be accepted and liked and loved.
I had gotten the impression that acceptance, being liked, and being loved was based upon performance and achievement. This was because no matter how hard I tried and no matter what were my achievements, it never seemed to be good enough.
In my recovery, I understood that my achievements had been more than enough. However, I gleaned that the people from whom I was seeking approval, being liked, and being loved had been incapable of expressing these things to me as a result of their own life issues.
Ultimately, this brought me to a place of not approving of myself as well as not liking or loving myself. I felt that my best was not good enough. The people who had given me this impression had moved on in life. However, I was the one who had gotten stuck internalizing unhealthy feelings about myself.
Then, I broke free and became liberated. I understood that I was special simply because I existed.
Additionally, my biggest challenge toward the end of my recovery was the battle between my mind and my spirit self on the issue of self love and feeling like there must be something inherently wrong with me because of the way I was treated in my childhood and because I never felt that I was “perfect enough“ to be worthy and deserving of anything good.
With that in mind, here are links regarding there being nothing wrong with you:
https://www.fightingparkinsonsdrugfree.com/2019/02/15/fighting-parkinsons-and-there-is-nothing-wrong-with-you/
https://www.fightingparkinsonsdrugfree.com/2019/02/22/fighting-parkinsons-and-there-is-nothing-wrong-with-you-part-2/
https://www.fightingparkinsonsdrugfree.com/2019/02/28/fighting-parkinsons-and-there-is-nothing-wrong-with-you-part-3/
https://www.fightingparkinsonsdrugfree.com/2019/03/08/fighting-parkinsons-and-there-is-nothing-wrong-with-you-part-4/
https://www.fightingparkinsonsdrugfree.com/2019/07/26/fighting-parkinsons-and-there-is-nothing-wrong-with-you-revisited/
As you know, the Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery® is a soul, mind, and body recovery protocol. Loving yourself and fully accepting yourself for the beautiful soul that you are goes a long way to opening your heart to yourself with unconditional self love and self acceptance.
I know you can do it!
You are worth it!!!
All my best,
Howard
Hello everyone and thank you Howard, having Parkinson’s actually has made me a better person believe it not. It’s made me to be more understanding for other people and living is a complete gift. I’m closer to God more than ever which is very important for me. I’m by far not perfect, even though my mother thinks so. Having Parkinson’s has given me great appreciation for life. 5 months 2 weeks into my recovery now and feeling very positive. What a gift you have given us Howard, thank you. Love to everyone😀😀😅
Your droll comment about your mum made me laugh. Mine was exactly the same (she died eight years’ ago).
I think loving yourself should involve the same criteria as loving someone else.
Everything that bothers me about myself, I would forgive and reconcile in another person that mattered to me. But, somehow, that yardstick doesn’t seem available to me for my own use (I may be looking in the wrong DiY shops).
My further thoughts are:
Any number of good deeds can’t make up the tonnage of one bad deed.
When weighing up negatives and positives, it’s very much not like for like.
The nice things about me can vaporize; the bad things hang around like a dark cloud.
If I felt OK about myself, I would be OK.
You are sound, Rick. I’ve always thought so from your comments.
God’s blessings and my UPR (Unconditional Positive Regard) to everyone who reads Howard’s blog. Best, Val
Thank you Val, for your lovely comments 😀😀😀😀
Hi Val, I truly truly truly enjoy your comments each week. My friend Cynthia and I (she has messaged you here recently) are both fans as you are so articulate and descriptive in telling it as it is, that I feel “yes, that’s how it feels, or yes that’s how I think at times. “ . You have a gift with words just like Howard!
Enjoy your humour as-well. 😀
Karen xx
Rick, I just want to say, I really enjoy your upbeat comments each week and I love the fact that you and my fellow Irishman, Ray , are neck in neck, bar one week, in your time doing The Recipe. 😀 It’s like a two horse race lol. 😁
You are both so excited and enthusiastic it is lovely and contagious. So thank you to you and Ray. It matters not who crosses the finish line first, as long as we all make it in the end. You will hear the cheers from all of us and feel the joy in our hearts from all across the globe, when each warrior crosses the finish line, where we are meant to be.
Big love to you and all warriors
Karen xx
Despite my symptoms continuing to rage after 5 months 3 weeks into my recovery exercises I awoke this morning with joy in my heart. I told my reflection in the mirror “I love you” and “I accept myself unconditionally”. It would be nice to know how long the symptoms will continue to rage but tell myself I will see a difference when it decides to and that I am getting better every day. Much love to you Howard and all. XX
Thank you Howard!
This was not easy to get my head around because of previous conditioning, but what a weight it lifts off. To Val’s point on loving others easier than ourselves I totally agree. I had much higher unrealistic expectations of myself that I would never impose on someone else. Now that I am getting the hang of it I’m really enjoying this self love.
I AM WORTH IT!!!!
Wishing everyone tons of self love – WE ARE ALL WORTH IT
xo
Feeling a little tired and lazy these days, which doesn’t do much for my self esteem. I guess I just need to suck it up and keep on cranking: keep moving, do what I can, call it good enough, and pump some energy into sustaining a positive attitude.
Keep on keeping on everybody!
Best regards to all,
Chris
Hi Chris, I missed your comments for a couple of weeks when you did not post as I enjoy your dry wit.. sorry you are feeling a bit tired and lazy, when you are usually so upbeat and always encouraging with your fellow warriors.
Hopefully you will be in top form before the next instalment 😀
Keep on keeping on, as you would say.
Karen xx
Respected Howard sir
Thanks for pointing out self love. It is a natural human tendency to curse oneself when anything goes wrong. After taking coaching sessions, I realized the value of loving myself. I developed a habit of saying ‘I love you’ to my image in a mirror when I wake up. I also made it a routine to write down ‘I love myself’ five times. It does make a difference in my attitude. It helps in my recovery. I suggest to practice same to my fellow warriors. Regards Mona.
Thank you for the reminder to “Loving yourself”.
Although, I have been diligently doing the physical part of the recovery, I must practice more “loving myself” to benefit the full recovery.
Thank you very much Howard for your constant support and encouragement.