Fighting Parkinson’s, and the final surrender

Today is Friday, June 11, 2021, and I am sitting in my office in Warren, Oregon. Eleven years ago today, it was Friday, June 11, 2010, and I was sitting in my living room in Tampa, Florida. I would like you to join me there.

Here is a brief background leading up to that morning. At the beginning of June, 2010, I started seeing my “temporarily lost-to-Parkinson’s abilities” returning day by day, and I was receiving some symptom relief as well. Each day, I was feeling better, moving better, and seeing the symptoms diminish.

It was an exciting time. I felt full of confidence, and on June 9, 2010, I wrote a blog post listing the “quantifiable results” from doing the Recipe. And then, nothing changed for two days after that. Which brings us to sitting in my living in Tampa on Friday, June 11, 2010.

I was a bit confused about each day seeing great healing and then nothing new on the 9th and 10th. I went back to review my June 9, 2010 blog post and I noticed that I had written this: “I am not out of the woods with fighting Parkinson’s. It will be a life-long battle, but I am making progress. On a sliding scale, I am on the plus side, beyond the 50% mark, between Parkinson’s and not-Parkinson’s.”

Then it hit me. In staring at these words, I asked myself, “Where is the guy who knows he will be fully recovering from Parkinson’s? How is he now the guy describing his Parkinson’s as a life-long battle?” And then it came to me. 

Many people had been so negative and so disbelieving of my fighting Parkinson’s without medications and saying I was going to have a full recovery, that I had fallen back into my old “safe-place” habit when faced with potential disapproval and conflict. I had become willing to keep Parkinson’s to my detriment just to make the other people happy because if they were already negative toward me just with what I was doing in my treatment, how negative would they act toward me when I fully recovered.

With that awareness, I realized that I needed to be the real me and, by doing so, it would make me vulnerable. However, I also realized that being vulnerable was necessary to finish my recovery. I knew I would need to be vulnerable in all I did in life, fearlessly facing life as my real self. 

The fear of being the real me is what had been holding me up. The more I resisted being absolutely vulnerable, being genuinely me, the more physically miserable I had become in the last month leading up to my recovery. And through that physical misery, I let go.

I surrendered fearful me. I awakened to the truth that the person who I had become was not the real me, the essence of me from birth. He was the “who I had become” based upon what I thought others expected from me. I had allowed people outside of me to influence the script of my life.

To be authentically me, I decided that my script of life going forward would have to be whatever rolled out in front of me, trusting and accepting that if it was rolling out in front of me then it was necessary in my life. I needed to accept life as it was and deal with it in the moment, moment after moment.

That night, I added the following, which was done at the end of my usual meditations and prayers before going to sleep on:

“Dear God, I surrender my ego to you. I surrender my attachment to my Parkinson’s Disease to you. I am not afraid anymore. I no longer fear Parkinson’s. I no longer fear the scorn I may face by being cured from a disease the experts say there is no cure. I no longer fear the people who may say I was misdiagnosed or that I faked having the disease. I am surrendering my ego to you, that part of me that felt I needed to remain attached to Parkinson’s because the experts say once you have Parkinson’s you always have Parkinson’s. I am forgetting about my old self (Parkinson’s) and stepping into my new self (No Parkinson’s).”

On Saturday morning, June 12, 2010, I awoke with the remaining symptoms gone and I was fully restored to 100% of my physical abilities. Tomorrow will be eleven years from that occurrence.

One last thing I would like to share with you. When the full recovery arrived, it was part of the flow of life. Parkinson’s was a symptom that I had gotten out of balance in the flow of my life, and my recovery was a reflection that I had gotten back into balance.

A big part of being able to finish my recovery was this understanding of the flow of life. I already has shifted to a way of life of acceptance of what arrived in my life, surrender (that I was not owed an explanation for what arrived in my life), and gratitude for my life and everything in it. I already had shifted from a judgmental mind to a compassionate heart.

I was ready, I was healed, and upon letting go of the final life-long issue I had carried, “making the other people happy to my own detriment” out of fear of potential conflict and reprisal, I let go and received the blessing of my full recovery.

To show you that I knew even then that the recovery was part of the flow of life, and that life continued to flow, here is what I wrote announcing my full recovery:

Friday night before I went to bed, I meditated on this realization and let go. On Saturday morning, I was symptom free. On Sunday, I cleaned the garage. It was the first time I ever have viewed cleaning the garage as a blessing.

My friends, thank you for sharing in the last morning the day before my full recovery. I am grateful to be hanging out with all of you. Tomorrow, Sally and I will have a small celebration of eleven years cured of Parkinson’s. On Sunday, who knows? Maybe I will find myself cleaning the garage….

I feel that every single one of you has the opportunity to heal from Parkinson’s. Please know that you are special simply because you exist. We are a world-wide family of warriors and friends, so nobody ever is alone.

You can do this!

You are worth it!!!

All my best,

Howard

Note: Don’t forget, I am providing a special offer of a discounted cost for Parkinson’s Coaching if you sign up by the end of June. This discount also is available to all who I am coaching when you sign up for your next cycle of coaching.  Click here to learn more about Parkinson’s Coaching, including how to sign up for the Parkinson’s Coaching Package with the special offer.

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25 Responses to Fighting Parkinson’s, and the final surrender

  1. Kevin says:

    Howard,

    Thank you for sharing the final days approaching your full recovery and what it involved. We celebrate with you and Sally in living life with full recovery and in the way that you, and not others, want.

    Healing from Parkinson’s is within each of us. There are passages to be unlocked that are unique for each of us. The next passage for me is shifting from a judgmental mind to a compassionate heart. I have improved but still working to find the key. I know that I will, and am grateful for Howard’s help. I look forward to my “last Saturday with Parkinson’s” and am ready to clean the garage.

  2. Dianna in Wyoming says:

    Thank you Howard for your enthusiasm and faith in each one of our ability to recover. I have had my share of skeptics seek to invalidate my recovery. I no longer puff up with indignation at their advice but see it as well meant. I know I could not have maintained the warrior stance without your coaching Howard and the sharings of my fellow warriors. My sincerest gratitude to you each. I am also ready to clean the garage.

  3. Sarah T says:

    Dear Howard,
    You have helped me to realise for myself that I can and will be cured, and I have faith. I am forever grateful to have met you and experienced your generosity of spirit. So I continue this rollercoaster ride with my friends and fellow warriors by my side, taking each day as it comes and enjoying the utmost out of it!
    I wish you a great day of celebrating your cure and look forward to when you can help me celebrate mine.
    Love, Sarah

  4. Bailey says:

    Congratulations to you dear Howard for leading the way and successfully healing from this disease. And… congratulations to all of us warriors who, inspired by you, have chosen this road less traveled and are taking this faith trip to recovery. It’s nice to know you are here fighting with me.

    • Karen In Ireland says:

      Hi Bailey, I am totally with you in your sentiment of it being nice to not be alone in this battle. It gives all of us a sense of hope when we read the words of each other, that we are all paddling the same canoe, we are just at different points on the lake. Some of us hit the rapids hard and we feel we are drowning, others are in calmer waters but struggling in other ways. Each and every one of us joyous for any who cross the finish line with love and gratitude in our hearts and the KNOWING that our turn will come. 🥰 what a JOY to clean my garage. I say regularly that I will never complain about anything trivial in life again when I am completely healed.
      Wonderful post Howard 😘
      Big love to all warriors, we are amazing souls.
      Karen 💕xx

  5. Rick says:

    Great message thank you Howard , this helps us a lot . Just over 6 months now doing the recovery, symptoms have increased and this is only happening down my left side only, but I feel energy down both the front and inside my legs especially getting up in the mornings . I do have moments l feel pretty good then it reminds me lol . I’m looking forward to my recovery and showing people down this part of the world that it can be done. Love to everyone, Rick from Australia 😀😀😀😀

  6. Gina says:

    Happy anniversary Howard!

  7. Sue TJ says:

    Congratulations Howard and thank you for being there for all of us. It must have been your destiny to go through your misery of Parkinson’s and come out on the other side of Recovery so that you can help others for which we are truly grateful.
    Love Sue UK

  8. Roger says:

    I’m driving on a hot summer day through the 40,00 happy souls here about the Cubs game. I”m on the way to see my acupuncture guy. I start to make a turn when a man on a bike starts yelling at me. I start to be the old me and want to yell back. But then I realize that I was just about to go the wrong way down a one way street and he was warning me! So I thank him with gratitude, a smile, a wave and this story.I thank him for showing me the way. Like Howard does.

  9. Ola says:

    Congratulation my dear Howard!!! enjoy your celebration with your loving family and friends! I am right next to you and celebrating with you in spirit … I am sure all of us warriors are!

    On the personal note, ever since I started talking to myself in my birth language I feel something is shifting, my believe and trust in full recovery is strong. I am worth it, I am grateful.

    Thank you Howard for your coaching, relentless love and support.

    Much love to all,

    Ola

  10. Ray says:

    Thank you Howard for your continued support. I wish my physical improvement would come soon as after 6 1/2 months of doing your recipe every day my increased symptoms which started after 5 months show no signs of easing. I am still mentally strong overall despite ocassional FEAR creeping in. I am re-reading your book for inspiration and found the following passage helpful:
    “I feel that it was the ability to transcend the physical misery, to take myself to a happier place mentally and spiritually, especially when my body was in physical misery”
    Blessings to you and my fellow warriors.
    Haola.

  11. Helen says:

    I totally get what you said Howard. I agree that I needed to break free from fearing what some other people would say when I fully recovered. That they might say I faked it that I wasn’t really that bad after all. That it was a misdiagnosis. Then I thought about the people who would say that and they were negative about me already; they will maybe always judge because they are unhappy. Why worry about those few. Why stay in pain to justify myself! So I stepped on the road to recovery for my sake to be able to be my best each day in grace and gratitude to know you and for everyone to know it’s possible. Thank you to Howard and to know myself.

  12. Helen says:

    Congratulations Howard you are a kind and wonderful human being. Strong and caring. Congratulations Howard again and again. What an example you are. Full recovery 11 years. 👏🌸🙏⭐️💖

  13. Val H says:

    Living with Parkinson’s is like living inside it – it shortens and confines you. But like a bear which has been caged for decades and painfully milked every day for its bile, when the liberator comes, life begins again as if the old life has been completely wiped out. All that matters is NOW. So, I don’t see your cleaning the garage as an anticlimactic event after recovery, but as proof of the wondrousness of everything.
    I don’t mean to ease back into Parkinson’s-free life gradually but to gulp it down straightaway. Kevin comments perceptively about each of us having passages to unlock which are unique to the individual. Mine is actually wanting to live. But over recent days, I have felt very close to God and as if I have rediscovered my joy.
    Something else significant has occurred: I am putting on weight, which hasn’t happened for years, and I am wearing a favourite pair of cargo pants which would have just dropped to my ankles a few weeks ago.
    I realise that if you find a way to live your life as if you have already recovered, you attract good karma.
    So, yeah, put me down for garage detail, Howard. And thank you for a blog which hit me with full emotional force.

  14. Dave M says:

    Happy anniversary Howard.

  15. Ashok says:

    Congratulations HOWARD and a big thank you for being there as guiding light for all of us!

  16. Colette says:

    Happy anniversary Howard!
    What an inspiration you are; because you healed from Parkinson’s, I believe I can too.
    Thank you.

  17. God bless you and Sally with more love, health, happiness, peace, joy and prosperity in support of your mission of serving PD warriors.

  18. Rabindar says:

    Thank you Howard for sharing the important milestone event of your recovery. Enjoy Life.
    With your continuous support and inspiration, we too look forward to achieving our milestone to be Parkinson free.
    God Bless.

  19. Uwe says:

    Howard, thank you for your and everybody’s support. As part of my surrender, I wrote a letter to myself today. Mainly to myself as a child, but also as a Teenager and as a young man. I spoke myself free of guilt and that everything has been forgiven. Now I am sure I am perfect and I always was. I have a question: What am I doing with the letter? I thought burn it in a little ceremony?

  20. Bob says:

    Thank you Howard for blazing this trail and showing us the way out without the drugs and with tremendous hope. I believe and I’m finding a renewed sense of purpose in life. This lifts my heart and carries me. I am at long last learning to trust God and relax. Easier said than done but you and others have shown us how. Thank you again for loving us so well. God is good.

  21. Anne says:

    Thank you all for your loving and honest comments. I feel wrapped in love and kindness from those who understand. It helps me to be confident in my recovery.
    Love to all, Anne

  22. Andrea says:

    Congratulations on your anniversary and thank you. May God continue to bless you and your loved ones.

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