Okay. It has been a couple of months of changing weather and changing symptoms, of acceptance and denial, and of fear and FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) regarding these changing symptoms. It is time to fearlessly surrender the FEAR!
I looked back to find the first time I wrote about this issue in-depth, and it turns out is was exactly eleven years ago today. Here is what I had to say on July 30, 2010, in my post “Still symptom free, seven weeks:”
Last Thursday, I attended my Jin Shin Jyutsu group meeting/training class. It was wonderful to learn more and practice this healing art. Mary Burmeister was taught Jin Shin Jyutsu by Japanese Master Jiro Murai, and she brought it to the United States as a gift from the Master. An excellent self-healing book about Jin Shin Jyutsu is called The Touch of Healing and is authored by Alice Burmeister and Tom Monte.
On page 18, it states: “When the life energy moves through us without obstruction, we are in perfect harmony. Obstructions — which lead to physical, mental, and emotional disharmony — are created by attitudes. The are five basic attitudes: worry, fear, anger, sadness, and pretense (cover-up). All attitudes arise from FEAR, or what Mary [Burmeister] refers to as False Evidence Appearing Real.” In becoming symptom free from Parkinson’s, I had to embrace Mary’s definition of FEAR….it is true, and it saved me.
I have not written in two weeks because I have been trying to figure out how to express this point as it relates to me, and to Parkinson’s in general, without being misunderstood. Here goes.
In a previous blog entry, I discussed finally “letting go” of Parkinson’s, and I have been symptom free ever since. Here is an excerpt on the point I am trying to make:
“Dear God, I surrender my ego to you. I surrender my attachment to my Parkinson’s Disease to you. I am not afraid anymore. I no longer fear Parkinson’s. I no longer fear the scorn I may face by being cured from a disease the experts say there is no cure. I no longer fear the people who may say I was misdiagnosed or that I faked having the disease. I am surrendering my ego to you, that part of me that felt I needed to remain attached to Parkinson’s because the experts say once you have Parkinson’s you always have Parkinson’s. I am forgetting about my old self (Parkinson’s) and stepping into my new self (No Parkinson’s).”
I needed to let go of fear, Mary’s FEAR, in order to be healed. By letting go of these fears, I was no longer attached to the disease, or dis-ease, that was running, and ruining, my life. What I have learned over the last seven weeks is that some of the things I feared have come true, but they have had no impact on me whatsoever because I let them go. I have had to face the scorn of people who do not believe I could have had Parkinson’s because I am claiming to be symptom free from an incurable disease. Although a little disheartening to hear such things, it has had no negative impact on me because seven weeks ago I let go of FEAR.
And, letting go of FEAR and being symptom free has resulted in me hearing from Parkinson’s sufferers who are interested in talking to me about their struggles with Parkinson’s. These are courageous people who need all of the help and encouragement the world has to offer, and I intend to do my best to help in any way I can.
I have no FEAR and I am happy.
Well, my friends, here we are eleven years later. I still have no FEAR. I still am happy. I still am hearing from Parkinson’s sufferers who are interested in talking to me [and each other on this blog] about their struggles with Parkinson’s. I still feel that you are courageous people who need all of the help and encouragement the world has to offer. I still intend to do my best to help in any way I can.
Please know this: if you are doing the Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery®, then you are healing your soul, mind, and body. It does not matter what your symptoms are doing. Your symptoms are not the measure of your recovery. You are so much more than a handful of Parkinson’s symptoms.
Do not let a misunderstanding of the healing crisis of increasing symptoms allow your mind to bring you into a state of False Evidence Appearing Real, FEAR. Instead, turn it around on your mind by fearlessly surrendering FEAR.
As I have mentioned many times, this recovery journey is not a race, but if it was, it would be won by the fearless tortoise, not the hare. Here is a little extra help in being the fearless tortoise and fearlessly surrendering FEAR.
Okay, everybody together so we can feel the strength around the world:
“The tortoise is filled with faith.
I am filled with faith.
The tortoise is fearless.
I am fearless.
The tortoise moves slowly, so it can be patient and enjoy life.
I am moving slowly, so I can be patient and enjoy life.
The tortoise wins the race.
I win the race.
I am the tortoise.
I am fearlessly surrendering FEAR.
I am recovery.
I am my own cure.
I am worth it!!!”
Yes you are! Each and every one of you is WORTH IT!!!
All my best,
Thank you Howard for the reminder of keeping the faith and living fearlessly. I remind myself, from time to time, to keep my eyes on the “prize” rather than having my symptoms absorb my energy. Yes the tortoise always wins.
I’m surprised to see ‘sadness’ on the list of attitudes arising from FEAR. For me, sadness is the only attitude not impacted or motivated by fear. Compared to the other four, it comes from a quiet place. For sadness, I would substitute ‘regret’ because I think this is both a driver and reflection of fear.
As for ‘letting go’ and the challenges it poses, I first need to learn how to reject self-accusation in favour of self-affirmation and substitute acceptance for regret.
It shows what a hold fear has over me that I can imagine, if I were to get my recovery, that instead of being joyful and grateful, I would keep schtum [silent] about it for weeks, living in fear that it hadn’t really happened; I didn’t deserve it so it wouldn’t last; or I had interfered with my penance and could expect something worse to come along in consequence.
In some ways, Parkinson’s is itself a part of the pretence identified in the Burmeister and Monte book because I can say this is what is wrong with me, rather than the more truthful: this is a symptom of what is wrong with me.
Yes, FEAR certainly is at the heart of the matter and is one of the great purveyors of suffering for humanity.
Overcoming FEAR requires me to dig deep into my soul mind body existence and truly accept that the mind and body are only temporary accoutrements that allow my eternal soul to enjoy the universe from a human perspective.
Thank you Howard. Every day I wake up wanting to be without symptoms. Your reminder that living in the moment needs to be at the forefront for me and for who I am. This is what really matters!
Dear Howard, thank you for your time and thinking of us,
great post again….you are wonderful!!
I feel so reassured when you emphasize that having symptoms is NOT an indication that I am not healing.
Thanks Howard, great message. I might shake rattle and roll but I live like I don’t have Parkinson’s. I put a new gas stove (36kilos) in my boat this week and my Parkinsons helped jiggle it in, so has it advantages lol 😌 Yes I have better days than some but I’m content. 7 months 3 weeks now and feeling proud. Love to everyone, Rick from Australia
Thank you Howard for your constant awareness of our need for your encouragement. Fear comes knocking on my mind’s front door every chance it gets. Because of doing the Recipe and your coaching I am more and more able to leave that door closed. Your elegant thoughts quiet my restless brain.
Bless you and all who read these lines.
Dianna in Wyoming
Thank you so much
Thank you all for your commitment and dedication to your recovery. I feel connected to a community who can see through the veil of the medical system, that offers only symptom management. And I thank you Howard for your commitment to your calling.
This entry hits the nail on the head. A great reminder that we are not our symptoms and to refocus every day on what we can do and live in faith and love ❤️
I am worth it and I no longer need to have this diagnosis to set boundaries or take better care of myself. One day at a time!🙏
Thank you for the reminder of “FEAR”, which is needed to overcome the condition. Letting go of “FEAR” is the greatest challenge I face in my recovery, but I am working on it to recover.
Thank you Howard!
Great reminder of this useless state of mind called ‘fear’ … for me faith is belief without fear!! I am glad to say that today I have faith most days! When I look back to the beginning of my coaching (18 months ago ) I have moved from crippling fear to faith and hope!
When my PD is in my face I say ‘this is necessary for my recovery, this is part of my recovery and my recovery in happening right now!!!’
Thank you Howard for your teaching!