Okay. It has been a couple of months of changing weather and changing symptoms, of acceptance and denial, and of fear and FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) regarding these changing symptoms. It is time to fearlessly surrender the FEAR!
I looked back to find the first time I wrote about this issue in-depth, and it turns out is was exactly eleven years ago today. Here is what I had to say on July 30, 2010, in my post “Still symptom free, seven weeks:”
Last Thursday, I attended my Jin Shin Jyutsu group meeting/training class. It was wonderful to learn more and practice this healing art. Mary Burmeister was taught Jin Shin Jyutsu by Japanese Master Jiro Murai, and she brought it to the United States as a gift from the Master. An excellent self-healing book about Jin Shin Jyutsu is called The Touch of Healing and is authored by Alice Burmeister and Tom Monte.
On page 18, it states: “When the life energy moves through us without obstruction, we are in perfect harmony. Obstructions — which lead to physical, mental, and emotional disharmony — are created by attitudes. The are five basic attitudes: worry, fear, anger, sadness, and pretense (cover-up). All attitudes arise from FEAR, or what Mary [Burmeister] refers to as False Evidence Appearing Real.” In becoming symptom free from Parkinson’s, I had to embrace Mary’s definition of FEAR….it is true, and it saved me.
I have not written in two weeks because I have been trying to figure out how to express this point as it relates to me, and to Parkinson’s in general, without being misunderstood. Here goes.
In a previous blog entry, I discussed finally “letting go” of Parkinson’s, and I have been symptom free ever since. Here is an excerpt on the point I am trying to make:
“Dear God, I surrender my ego to you. I surrender my attachment to my Parkinson’s Disease to you. I am not afraid anymore. I no longer fear Parkinson’s. I no longer fear the scorn I may face by being cured from a disease the experts say there is no cure. I no longer fear the people who may say I was misdiagnosed or that I faked having the disease. I am surrendering my ego to you, that part of me that felt I needed to remain attached to Parkinson’s because the experts say once you have Parkinson’s you always have Parkinson’s. I am forgetting about my old self (Parkinson’s) and stepping into my new self (No Parkinson’s).”
I needed to let go of fear, Mary’s FEAR, in order to be healed. By letting go of these fears, I was no longer attached to the disease, or dis-ease, that was running, and ruining, my life. What I have learned over the last seven weeks is that some of the things I feared have come true, but they have had no impact on me whatsoever because I let them go. I have had to face the scorn of people who do not believe I could have had Parkinson’s because I am claiming to be symptom free from an incurable disease. Although a little disheartening to hear such things, it has had no negative impact on me because seven weeks ago I let go of FEAR.
And, letting go of FEAR and being symptom free has resulted in me hearing from Parkinson’s sufferers who are interested in talking to me about their struggles with Parkinson’s. These are courageous people who need all of the help and encouragement the world has to offer, and I intend to do my best to help in any way I can.
I have no FEAR and I am happy.
Well, my friends, here we are eleven years later. I still have no FEAR. I still am happy. I still am hearing from Parkinson’s sufferers who are interested in talking to me [and each other on this blog] about their struggles with Parkinson’s. I still feel that you are courageous people who need all of the help and encouragement the world has to offer. I still intend to do my best to help in any way I can.
Please know this: if you are doing the Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery®, then you are healing your soul, mind, and body. It does not matter what your symptoms are doing. Your symptoms are not the measure of your recovery. You are so much more than a handful of Parkinson’s symptoms.
Do not let a misunderstanding of the healing crisis of increasing symptoms allow your mind to bring you into a state of False Evidence Appearing Real, FEAR. Instead, turn it around on your mind by fearlessly surrendering FEAR.
As I have mentioned many times, this recovery journey is not a race, but if it was, it would be won by the fearless tortoise, not the hare. Here is a little extra help in being the fearless tortoise and fearlessly surrendering FEAR.
Okay, everybody together so we can feel the strength around the world:
“The tortoise is filled with faith.
I am filled with faith.
The tortoise is fearless.
I am fearless.
The tortoise moves slowly, so it can be patient and enjoy life.
I am moving slowly, so I can be patient and enjoy life.
The tortoise wins the race.
I win the race.
I am the tortoise.
I am fearlessly surrendering FEAR.
I am recovery.
I am my own cure.
I am worth it!!!”
Yes you are! Each and every one of you is WORTH IT!!!
All my best,