Recently, a topic has come up on coaching calls, and I want to share it with you. Some people who are close to finishing their recoveries have been hit by fear. The question I have asked is “What do you fear will occur when you are fully recovered?”
If you have Parkinson’s, then your mind has gotten used to having Parkinson’s. In fact, many people have told me that the first thought they have when a symptom subsides is
”when is it coming back?” This is a simple reflection of the mind’s expectation.
For many, including me when I had Parkinson’s, the mind says, “you understand life with Parkinson’s, so why risk the unknown…life without Parkinson’s?” Ultimately, the discussion on the coaching calls took us to a blog post I wrote seven weeks after my full recovery.
Here is an excerpt:
“I have not written in two weeks because I have been trying to figure out how to express this point as it relates to me, and to Parkinson’s in general, without being misunderstood. Here goes.
In a previous blog entry, I discussed finally “letting go” of Parkinson’s, and I have been symptom free ever since. Here is an excerpt on the point I am trying to make:
“Dear God, I surrender my ego to you. I surrender my attachment to my Parkinson’s Disease to you. I am not afraid anymore. I no longer fear Parkinson’s. I no longer fear the scorn I may face by being cured from a disease the experts say there is no cure. I no longer fear the people who may say I was misdiagnosed or that I faked having the disease. I am surrendering my ego to you, that part of me that felt I needed to remain attached to Parkinson’s because the experts say once you have Parkinson’s you always have Parkinson’s. I am forgetting about my old self (Parkinson’s) and stepping into my new self (No Parkinson’s).”
I needed to let go of fear, [False Evidence Appearing Real], in order to be healed. By letting go of these fears, I was no longer attached to the disease, or dis-ease, that was running, and ruining, my life. What I have learned over the last seven weeks is that some of the things I feared have come true, but they have had no impact on me whatsoever because I let them go. I have had to face the scorn of people who do not believe I could have had Parkinson’s because I am claiming to be symptom free from an incurable disease. Although a little disheartening to hear such things, it has had no negative impact on me because seven weeks ago I let go of FEAR.”
In the blog post that followed the above-quoted post, I wrote this:
“Yesterday, I went for my six-month follow up with my Parkinson’s doctor. He put me through all of the Parkinson’s tests and I passed them all. I asked him if it was okay to put on my blog that he agreed I was symptom free, and he said I should let all of you know that my neurologist gave me the Parkinson’s tests, and much to his surprise, he was unable to detect a single Parkinson’s symptom. I now have received my doctor’s confirmation that I am symptom free.”
As you can see, my mind had misrepresented my future in an effort to dissuade me from my full recovery. In the post about the neurologist visit, what I had feared (telling me I was misdiagnosed or faked having the disease) did not occur. In fact, he confirmed that his original Parkinson’s diagnosis was accurate, and then said that the Parkinson’s was no longer there.
The thing my mind simply did not understand was this:
It is not that life will not have difficulties after the full recovery, but when you open your heart and soul and remove fear and FEAR, you are in such a loving, joyful, grateful, and compassionate state of being that you are in the best position to deal with everything that arrives on your path for the rest of your life.
Okay everybody, it is time for you to shed the fear and FEAR lurking in your minds, and open your hearts and souls to the opportunities that await you in Recoveryville. The train from Parkinson’sville to Recoveryville will be leaving the station momentarily. Why not climb on board! There is enough room for all of you!!
You are worth it!!!
All my best,
How true – ‘when a symptom subsides, your first thought is, when is it coming back?’
If I was as quick to absorb progress as I am to notice deterioration, I would be well on my way to Recoveryville and looking forward to heading for the beach with all my fellow warriors who have been on the same journey. There is no reason why I shouldn’t become symptom-free when Howard and Marie have already racked up more than a decade of living without Parkinson’s and don’t expect it to come back. So why don’t I accept that I could be next instead of being one of those people who says: ‘I never win anything’? It’s really a question of spiritually and mentally creating the conditions for recovery to manifest in the body.
Good news, though: the Sadhguru video that Howard posted last week triggered a lot of thought and was instrumental in making me recommit to the Recipe because, when I looked back, I realised that it was indeed in ‘a moment of joy and clarity’, to which the guru alludes, that I decided to embark on the regimen– same goes for my decision to purchase my first round of coaching. I was never expecting instant results, but neither did I expect the process to be so protracted.
I’m grateful that Sadhguru doesn’t assert that conviction implies absence of difficulty: ‘You go through hell for 10 years, it doesn’t matter; you just do that because that’s where your wellbeing is.’
If you feel absolutely sure about something (and Rick’s got this in spades) it makes the fight worthwhile, whereas turn-and-turnabout literally gets you nowhere.
I’m going to have faith that my soul knows where my wellbeing is, rather than be tossed about on the foaming wave of dither.
I want to be on that train – and I’ll be travelling first class because I’m worth it!
Hi Val, someone seems to be extremely focused and positive and full of wisdom. It sounds like you have had an awakening which is wonderful.
You go girl! Howard is in for a treat coaching you as you are with him. I remember the first time I saw Howard on Skype and I was expecting this prime and proper gentleman. A gentle man he is, but he has a great sense of humour too and was well able to handle me, which is an achievement in itself.😊
Enjoy my friend. xx
I’ve already ‘met’ Howard on Skype. I was harking back to my first experience of being coached by him two years ago and how good it felt. It was confirmation that I was on the right path and, you’re right, I AM feeling positive at the moment; also glad to hear that your legs are getting stronger and straighter – I think you said a few blogs back that you’re 5ft 11 in, so it’s lovely to think you could be walking tall again.
Oh, I knew you’d be in the bar! When I used to catch the train, which was my favourite mode of transport, I always made sure I was in the coach next to the buffet car, so I could get a can of cider. You know that saying, you’re never more than 6ft away from a rat? Well, it was the same for me, from a Strongbow. LOL. I reckon Howard is in for a right raucous celebration when he meets us on that train to Recoveryville.
Keep up the good work!
Hi Val , thank you for your comment , it’s still nice to hear it ! A simple comment yet so powerful! Our train is coming xxxx 😀😀😃😃
How is it possible that you know exactly what I need to hear?!
I let go of fear and see it dissolve into nothingness.
As always, you’re amazing Howard!
Feeling very sleepy but very happy at the same time that the train destination to recovery is ahead. Our train tickets write on them: ‘SMB: Soul-Mind-Body join your efforts, wear your seat belts and full speed ahead to a smooth recovery destination’ We have the tools, we can have much willingness and effort and sincere feelings and above all with your genuine encouragement Howard we can do it! Thanks from heart!!!
Why do I fear recovery?
Because Parkinson’s is a great
Excuse for not being able to keep up
With modern life!
It is time to move on to recovery
And real life!!
Hi Howard and fellow warriors, great post Howard. The thing that came to mind, no pun intended, 😁, but it’s something I have noticed, when you mentioned being attached to the disease. Well there are times that I am aware when I am trying to walk especially, that if I am trying to hurry my laps up and down the kitchen, that I go into what I call “walking in my knees walking” . My brain has adapted to walking by slightly bending my knees so the “ heel first” correct way of walking” is bypassed. Lately I have noticed that when I hold onto my bathroom sink and consciously straighten my knees that I am actually taller. It’s taking time but my legs are getting stronger in straightening. My point is I feel that in our recovery process we have to unlearn bad habits that we have used for survival with Parkinson’s.
Fear is the default setting for most of us I think, but like this post explains, the qualities of our soul, when we finally manifest those qualities as our default setting, will we ALL reach the very sought after “Recoveryville” . Val, I will be in the bar on the train if you’re looking for me. Haha.
Big Love to one and all.
Karen xx 💕
This blog prompts the thought that the final FEAR is the hardest. A symptom subsides and I think “what bad thing will happen next?” That final fear appears ready to do battle all the time. But I’ve got a train to catch. A gratitude journal to update, Joy in the air. Ready to shake my hand!
I’ve had many challenges in my life and won ! At 23 I entered the biggest demolition derby in NZ at the time with the NZ stock car champion in it ! I was so nervous before the event l was shaking. I asked my brother if he would like to take over , he declined. I came away with the prize money ! Even though I had a moment of hesitation, I was telling people before the event I will win this! 2004 we sailed out of the Bay of Islands NZ on our 40ft yacht on route to Fiji (1200 Nautical miles). 300 miles out of NZ I was so seasick I thought about turning back (the great sea captain) and I’m also navigating lol ! No, I said keep going, I will never hear the end of it ! For me having Parkinson’s is just another challenge, but the biggest so far. But it’s amazing what you can do when you don’t give up ! Before I started this recipe, a Chinese acupuncturist said to me if you believe you can, you will ! With God and the power of the mind and I truely believe this ! The train is coming 😀😀😀😀
It’s a privilege to travel with you, Rick. I feel more sure of your recovery than my own! But, please God, we’ll all get there in the end. Dora sounds like she’s definitely on track!
Hi Rick, great personal story, which made me laugh when you said “No, keep going, I will never hear the end of it” 😁😁😁 so funny as I have uttered those same words throughout my life. Lol. Sometimes it’s better to swallow the bile, rather than have to face the “ I told you so’s” and of course I never learned the lesson, to keep my mouth shut and not be bragging that I could do it in the first place. ( usually involved siblings and things like jumping off the house roof (our house was a bungalow, I’m not completely insane) 😂 You never forget the burning in your ankle and feet when you make the jump, because you HAD to do it or you would never hear the end of it. Haha. 😊
I have not sent anything in a while, Howard thank you for your continual thoughts!!
Funny but in my meditations lately I visualize a train with the word Parkinson on it and me saying goodbye to it. Is this a coincidence or am I on the right track? Thank you Howard for lighting up my path
And a big thank you to Howard for making this all possible ! Without the recipe I’m not sure what I would have done 😀😀😀
Howard, great write-up on Recovery Fear. I too had my moments when I thought I was recovering but the next moment I was brought down with more stiffness. I did not give up but instead was more focused on the recovery course. I have learnt NOT to fear recovery but look forward to the real life without PD.
I want to be on the train to Recoveryville!
Thank you Howard for a great reminder where my mind was at the beginning of our coaching!! I was riddled with fear and looking back my fear paralyzed my moves and intensified my symptoms!! NO MORE! I know that I am only a few stops away from the final stop of the journey Full Parkinson Recovery. I am worthy and deserving simply because I exist!!
Love to All,
Howard, I am 4 months into the Recipe and so thankful to have read your book.
Although some of my symptoms are worsening …I am more determined than ever to Win this Fight. I do have some glimmers of improvement with internal tremors being reduced :).
I always look forward to your encouraging words and definitely looking forward to my full recovery because I am frigging worth it.