Fighting Parkinson’s, and Adrenaline and Dopamine, 14 years later

Fourteen years ago today, I wrote the blog post, Fighting Parkinson’s, Adrenaline and Dopamine. It was an important blog post in my recovery. Fourteen years later, after reading it this morning, I would not change a word.

May of 2010 was a physically miserable month for me in my recovery journey. I was unraveling my childhood, seeking self-love, seeking forgiveness (of others and myself), reconnecting at a deeper level with God, Nature, the Universe, and seeking deeper emotional and spiritual awareness.

It was the age-old battle between my soul and the mind. For most of May of 2010, the ego mind and subconscious triggered mind and emotions were winning. In fact, Sally has said to me: “The worst part of your recovery for me was in May when you crippled yourself for the simple reason that you could not accept that you were the special person I already knew you were. But I had to stay on the side and watch it happen because you needed to figure this out.

As that month went on, I spent more time doing the emotional and spiritual parts of the Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery®, and through prayers, meditations, affirmations, and learning to accept the physical misery as part of the journey to well-being, I changed. I woke up. I became aware that I was the Spirit Being inside the body, and that the information in the mind was put there by other people with their own life issues.

I was the Soul. I was not the mind. I was not the body.

Sally came to me one day and said, “I see you changing, not your symptoms, they are still terrible, but you are changing, and you need to write about what you are doing. I feel that this is the beginning of the end of your recovery.” I told her that I could not do that because everybody already thought I was crazy by not taking the medications. How was I to write about emotional and spiritual healing in the recovery journey of a physical disease.

Sally is the wisest person I know, and she was very convincing in why I needed to write the blog post, including reminding me that I cared too much what other people thought about what I was saying and doing. I agreed to write the blog post.

Fourteen years later, here it is:

I am learning about adrenaline and dopamine and the emotions that cause their release…and their non-release. The most difficult lesson I have learned is that I am an inadvertent participant in the emotional part of my Parkinson’s disease.

Adrenaline — you are walking through the jungle and a lion jumps out and starts chasing you. When your survival mode adrenaline kicks in and you start running, other things are required of your body. Your stomach gets the message from the brain that says, “eating is of minor importance right now so do not send me hunger pangs.” The bladder and the large intestine get the message from the brain that says, “no time to evacuate, so I need you to shut down temporarily.” The body gets the message from the brain that says, “you are being pushed to your physical limits, but I do not want to hear about your pain — shut it off.” The heart gets the message from the brain that says, “no time for joyful emotions, so do not release dopamine, just store it for later.”

What I have had to come to terms with over these last couple of weeks is that I ran from the lion for ten consecutive years and he only stopped chasing me on a rare occasion or two for very brief moments. Shortly after the lion stopped chasing me, my tremors began and my Parkinson’s symptoms became apparent and debilitating. My home life, Sally and the children, was, and is, loving and supportive. However, external factors resulted in ten years of stress filled with fear, anger, frustration and resentment. (If you read my March 26, 2010 blog entry, you will see that these are the emotions that Traditional Chinese Medicine associates with Parkinson’s).

Although the stress and those emotions have been put to the side, my subconscious brain still has me functioning in adrenaline mode. After ten years of functioning in this emotional survival mode, my physical body and organs have forgotten how to be normal. I need to get out of adrenaline mode and re-train my organs and body. I have been hesitant to write about this because, from a conventional mind-set, this theory is “out there” and there may be some who read this blog and feel I have lost my mind. To them, all I can say is what Socrates told a young Dan in Dan Millman’s book Way of the Peaceful Warrior, “Sometimes you have to lose your mind before you come to your senses.”

The experts say the cause of Parkinson’s is unknown. I am willing to reject their opinion and continue to go down this unchartered path, and I have a lot of hard work ahead of me. There are many meditations and chants and prayers ahead on this path, and none of us know for certain what is at the end of the path. For now, I am going to stay focused on the journey.

All my best,

Howard

This was a very vulnerable post for me. In the second sentence, I wrote, The most difficult lesson I have learned is that I am an inadvertent participant in the emotional part of my Parkinson’s disease. I felt very vulnerable in admitting that the way I had been living my life out of balance was a contributing factor to me getting Parkinson’s.

Of course, like everybody else, I was living my life the way I taught, trained, told, marketed, and indoctrinated to live it. Of course, none of us wanted to get Parkinson’s. But all the same, even though I had no idea how out of balance I had become physically, mentally and spiritually, Parkinson’s had arrived at the surface and I decided to do something about it.

In the end, Sally was correct, my emotional and spiritual awakenings and changes were the beginning of the end of my full recovery. The following day, I started getting my physical abilities back, and eleven days after that I finished my full recovery.

Each and every one of you has what I had. Each and every one of you is a beautiful Spirit Being. Each and every one of you has the ability to wake up. Each and every one of you has the ability to become aware of your spiritual nature and to elevate yourself to full recovery.

I know you have it in you. I have faith in all of you!

Please post a comment below by copying and pasting these words:

I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!! 

Each and every one of you is winning and you are worth it!!!

All my best,

Howard

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54 Responses to Fighting Parkinson’s, and Adrenaline and Dopamine, 14 years later

  1. Kathy D says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  2. Ulve says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  3. Надежда says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  4. Tatiana L says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  5. Joanne M says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  6. Kevin C says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  7. Weng says:

    I needed to read this post today.

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  8. Jean T says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  9. Lisa H says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

    Thank you, Howard! These words are so true!!!

  10. Karen S. says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  11. Helen C says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  12. Tim in Colorado says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  13. Michael H says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  14. Jeanne R says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  15. Eileen says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  16. Anne says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  17. Roland says:

    Ich weiß, dass meine Gehirnzellen lebendig sind. Ich weiß, dass mein Dopaminreservoir voll ist. Ich weiß, dass ich das Rezept befolge und dass meine Genesung von Parkinson voranschreitet. Ich weiß, dass ich eines Tages in der Zukunft vollständig von Parkinson genesen sein werde. Ich weiß, dass ich außergewöhnlich bin. Ich weiß, dass ich genese. ICH WEISS, DASS ICH GEWINNE! UND ICH WEISS, DASS ICH ES WERT BIN!!!

  18. Janeen H says:

    I know Michael’s brain cells are alive. I know his dopamine reservoir is full. I know he is doing the Recipe, and I know his recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, he will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know he is extraordinary. I know he is recovery. I KNOW he is WINNING! AND, I KNOW he is WORTH IT!!!
    Happy 27th anniversary to my beautiful Michael, you’ve got this!

  19. Richard S says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  20. Soo P says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  21. Russell says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  22. Sue TJ says:

    I know now my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full . I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know that my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that someday in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am
    recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING!, AND I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  23. Celia T says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  24. John H says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  25. Gloria says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  26. Margaret says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  27. Lynn O says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  28. Andrea says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  29. Santiago P says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  30. Timothy W says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  31. Tim A. says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  32. Craig D says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  33. Gary Wa says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  34. Mark S says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  35. LBR says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  36. Ira says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  37. Sakina K says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  38. Helle says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  39. Gary Wo says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM worth it

  40. Gary Wo says:

    Thanks Howard!!!

  41. Tery and Werni says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  42. Sydney C says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  43. Maria B says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!
    Thank you Howard!

  44. Rabindar says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  45. Rainer in Germany says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  46. Thando M says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  47. John S in NJ says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  48. Wyatt W says:

    Thank you for the inspirational post. That was a good one! ❤️
    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  49. Rosalie says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  50. Kim O says:

    Thank You Howard, I needed this confirmation! This has been a very challenging journey, but marching on!
    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  51. Santosh K says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  52. Constantinos says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  53. Tara R says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

  54. Carol M says:

    I know my brain cells are alive. I know my dopamine reservoir is full. I know I am doing the Recipe, and I know my recovery from Parkinson’s is happening. I know that some day in the future, I will be having a full recovery from Parkinson’s. I know I am extraordinary. I know I am recovery. I KNOW I AM WINNING! AND, I KNOW I AM WORTH IT!!!

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