We all come into this life who we are. Throughout life, many people and influences tell us who we should be and how we should act. The Parkinson’s recovery involves healing the soul to get back to being who we are.
If you are doing the Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery®, then you know you are doing a soul, mind, and body recovery protocol. Moreover, you cannot give a human condition to a spiritual being. The soul healing is the journey to reconnecting with all that is, being one with everything. Additionally, the soul healing involves clearing out unpleasant feelings about oneself. Finally, the soul healing is getting back to being who you are.
A quote from E. E. Cummings
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battles which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.”
This is a big part of the soul healing. It is being you, your real self, when others are indicating that you need to be somebody else. Moreover, it is learning to accept yourself just as you are. Also, on January 1st, I announced 2025 as the year of self-acceptance! Let’s do this!!
Thinking there was something wrong with me
When I was young, I was sensitive. At age four or five, my father began yelling at me to not cry like a girl. However, crying was part of who I was, my real self.
When I was five, I was coloring and eating with my left hand. I did this because it was natural to who I was. My parents sat me down and told me that I was not left handed. Additionally, every time my natural inclination used my left hand, one of my parents would scold me with, “put that in your other hand.”
These are two examples that might seem like no big deal. Throughout my life I treated them as no big deal. However, in my Parkinson’s recovery journey, I realized they were a big deal. Why?
Because the child self in me held in feelings that said, “There must be something wrong with me. I am being told by my parents that the things that are flowing out of me from my essence of who I am are unacceptable. There must be something inherently wrong with me as a human being.”
I was not being yelled at, scolded, punished, or hit for doing “bad” things. I was being yelled at, scolded, punished, or hit for being the real me. There is no way I could have come out of that childhood without thinking there was something flawed with me as a human being. As a result, I had fear of being the real me.
The fear of being the real me
The fear of being the real me was a large hurdle to overcome. However, I wanted to heal from Parkinson’s, and I knew I needed to let go of the bad feelings against myself. Also, I needed to let go of the fear of being the real me.
Finally, it occurred to me that the bad feelings I had about being the real me were bad feelings others had given me. Those bad feelings about myself were not my real self. Also, I realized that I was repeating other people’s words against myself. Moreover, I was acting in the way that they expected, not in the way that was authentic to me.
It was a colossal battle between the mind and my soul. I wanted to feel good about being me, but a lifetime of conditioning had the ego mind winning the battle. Also, this caused the body to become physically miserable. Additionally, although I knew I was not getting worse, I physically and emotionally crippled myself.
In Sally’s words to me, “The worse part of your recovery was in May when you crippled yourself because you could not accept that you were the special person I already knew you were. But you had to work that out and I had to watch it happen.”
On page 52 of my book, Fighting Parkinson’s…and Winning, I explain it like this:
“The fear of being the real me is what had been holding me up. The more I resisted being absolutely vulnerable, being genuinely me, the more physically miserable I had become in the last month leading up to my full recovery. And through that physical misery, I let go.
I surrendered.”
Letting go of the fear of being the real me
As further explained in my book on page 52:
“I realized that I needed to clear my shelf of my annual Academy Award for Best Actor in the part of Howard Shifke, and I threw them all in the trash along with the script I had been acting from for the previous 45 years or so.
I realized that the script from which I had been acting the Howard Shifke part all those years had been written by others (parents, siblings, teachers, coaches, relatives, friends, etc.); the script had not been written by me, and it had little to do with who I really was, the real me. I decided that my script of life going forward would have to be whatever rolled out in front of me, trusting and accepting that if it was rolling out in front of me then it was necessary in my life…accept it and deal with it in the moment, moment after moment. That’s it.
That night, I let go of the remaining fear of being me.”
I awoke the following morning, and the remaining symptoms of the Parkinson’s were gone. I have been living the last fifteen years cured from Parkinson’s.
Being the real you
As you can see from the examples from my life, this is not an easy transition. However, transitioning from the script of life written by others to being your real self is liberating!
When you can look at your life and unravel the bad feelings, the self-judgments and criticisms, and see yourself for the radiant soul that you are, things begin to fall into place.
Ultimately, it is a choice: to be or not to be you. Here are the options.
Option 1: Continue to live your life in Parkinson’sville, playing the role put upon you by others.
OR
Option 2: Throw away the old script of your life, and fearlessly accept and love yourself for the luminous soul who you are. And then, grab the Recipe and get on the train to Recoveryville with all of the courageous warriors on this website accompanying you. There are enough seats for all of you!
All aboard! Next stop: Recoveryville!
Summing it up with a quote from Oscar Wilde
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
In the comments, let us know which option you are choosing, Option 1 or Option 2.
You are worth it!!!
All my best,
Howard
I’m choosing option 2….grabbing the Recipe and getting on the train
to Recoveryville!!! I am worth it!
Thank you for this wonderful post Howard!
Feeling joyful…and so very grateful for you!
I hear you talking to me, Howard!
And I choose option 2 – being Spirit Tim!
Thank you for the great post.
Definitely choosing option 2:
Being being the real me!
Grappling with letting go of the script I have been living, I’m determined to return to my true essence self!
Infinite gratitude to you, Howard!
Definitely option number two! It’s where I’m now feeling the most at home ❤️ there’s no place like home!
And so it is!
Thank you, Howard!
Definitely option two
Howard,
Here’s my ticket
It says you are worth it on it
I have already reserved my seat,
Thank you.
Option 2
Today I made a decision that I should have made a long time ago. I must be about myself, I must be about me. Everyone including myself must accept that I am me. I have always played second fiddle at my expense. I now move forward with Thando, the real me, realizing that someone might not like it but my soul is at rest.
Thank you so much Howard for the support.
I am on my way to full recovery.
I’m definitely going with option 2: getting on the train to Recoveryville! Thanks Howard! I am needing to let go of the label SC, meaning self-centered that my dad tagged me with all through my growing up days. I need to be free of that label and burn it up in the garbage can. Thanks for a beautiful article and encouragement Howard. See you on Monday, Gary W.
Wonderfull, Thank you Howard!!
It’s so true what you say!
What an amazing job you do for us to heal every week!
I am choosing option 2!!!
Hope to see everyone else there!
Option 2 is so emotionally liberating!! The main difficulty is to overcome other people’s repeated opinions by filtering out self judgements as well. People are afraid that you could eventually be liberated and enter the next level!!
I choose option 2, I am on my way to Recoveryville!!
Thank you Howard.
My choice is option 2
Option 2: Throw away the old script of your life, and fearlessly accept and love yourself for the luminous soul who you are. And then, grab the Recipe and get on the train to Recoveryville with all of the courageous warriors on this website accompanying you. There are enough seats for all of you!
All aboard! Next stop: Recoveryville!
Thank you Howard!
Option 1 can be seductive because it is familiar. But as the years pass and I get a firmer foothold on Option 2, I am ever, ever more grateful for Howard’s guidance and for the Recipe like a cherished friend.
Choosing option 2 with all the other warriors on the train to Recoveryville! Grew up with “you’re too sensitive” and “you’re wrong again”…again? That old message needs to be dumped for good and forever. Time to be myself and accept the real me! Thank you, Howard, for all your love and support.
Thank you so much for this post Howard. I am definitely choosing option 2. Your words about being my real self fearlessly and being ok with vulnerability really struck me. You are so right, that my story has been written by others who thought I wasn’t good enough and would never be, no matter how much I accomplished. I have experienced so much confusion about my own value that I still try to deal with that by having superior knowledge and trying to understand everything. This doesn’t leave much room for surrender!
But God is showing me how much I am loved and how I always have been loved. What a gift that is! I jumped into a lake for a swim the other day and was full of gratitude to be outside swimming on a beautiful summer day. I had an image of being “in” love and being carried and held by it. This community is part of that love.
Thank you to all of you on this train, as we make our way to Recoveryville! I am so grateful for life and the recipe.
I’m choosing option 2….grabbing the Recipe and getting on the train
to Recoveryville!!! I am worth it!
Thank you for this wonderful post Howard! Thank you for your support and everything!
Option 2: Throw away the old script of your life, and fearlessly accept and love yourself for the luminous soul who you are. And then, grab the Recipe and get on the train to Recoveryville with all of the courageous warriors on this website accompanying you. There are enough seats for all of you!
By releasing self judgments and embracing my True Identity, I look forward to a first class ticket to Recoveryville! We’re so blessed to have you, Howard! Thank you for your guidance on our journey.
I am choosing option 2! And I am on the train to recoveryville with my recipe for recovery!
Fantastic post and I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability about your past!
Thank you so much Howard!
I am grateful to be a part of this great group of warriors!
I choose option 2. In my recovery journey I have focused on forgiving my parents (I was also forced to eat with my right hand when I am really left handed). Your blog has pointed out that others pressured me, or I had presssured myself to try to be someone other than who I am. Going to Recoveryville sounds great, and I want the real me to arrive.
Thank you Howard!
I am definitely choosing option 2!
I have spent my whole life being a puppet of what is wanted and expected of me
I was successful at achieving that, but unhappy
Now I choose to be the real me
Option 2 for sure, and …’trusting and accepting that if it was rolling out in front of me then it was necessary in my life…accept it and deal with it in the moment, moment after moment.’
Praying for you all, sending admiration for all these special soul recovery friends on the Recovery Express : ) Thank you Howard and family and all.
I like “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
So true! I choose option 2! Must say the struggle is real!
Option 2 to be myself.
Option 2 is the only choice. I am looking forward to discovering who I really am, and more importantly that I am on the path to a full recovery. I am grateful for your enlightened guidance. Thank you Howard!
Waking up to it… waking up to seeing the real me.
It’s a journey.