I began this year with “Fighting Parkinson’s, and 2026…the year of joy!” Part of feeling joy on the inside is the creation of internal joy. Today is part 2 of creating internal joy.
Creating internal joy
Last week, I explained how smiling at people was a first step in creating internal joy. Also, it was part of the mind healing of the Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery®. Additionally, although I knew inside that it felt good, I also knew that there was something else I needed to do.
Adding conversation to the smile
Prior to having Parkinson’s, I was not good at “small talk” or initiating conversations. Moreover, it was my self-consciousness and years of bad feelings about myself that lead to uncomfortableness in social settings. I wanted to be invisible, not the center of attention.
However, Sally had given me a pretty strong nudge that I needed to get out and be with people. She was correct. That is when I started smiling at people.
As written last week, I realized that smiling was great and gave me feelings of internal joy. Also, I realized that smiling was not enough. I needed to make a change and add conversation to the smiling.
How I added conversation to the smiling
I sensed that general “passing conversation” would not be enough. By passing conversation, I mean, “Hi. Hi. How are you? Fine. And you? Fine. Bye. Bye.” Additionally, I wanted the conversation to be a sharing of joy, just like the smiling.
However, this required a big change for me. Moreover, I was asking myself to go from invisible to being an ambassador of good will and joy. Finally, I decided to go big. My conversation opener became:
Are you having a great day so far? (Of course, it was delivered with a big smile and a lively voice)
Are you having a great day so far?
Here are examples of how this worked.
Cashier at the grocery store says, “Hi.”
My response: “Hi. Are you having a great day so far?”
Cashier has a physical response of standing straighter and smiling, pausing to think about the question. “Yes, in fact I am having a great day so far. Thank you. How about you?”
My response (uncontrollably smiling even more): “I am, too. Thank you.”
Person behind the counter at Starbucks says, “What can I get for you?”
My response: “Doppio espresso. Are you having a great day so far?”
Person behind the counter has a physical response of shoulders dropping and no smiling: “I am a little stressed as I have a big test today.”
My response: “Sorry about that. Where do you go to school?”
Person behind the counter: “USF.” (University of South Florida).
My response: “My son is a freshman at USF studying computer science engineering. What are you studying?”
(And the conversation continued)
Joyful effect of adding conversation to the smiling
Sally had asked me to go to the grocery store every day and buy one or two things. This would get me out of the house each day during my lunchtime. Also, it forced me to be with other people.
In the beginning, I saw it as “forced me” because it required change. Also, I will be the first to admit that change did not come easy to me. However, the more I went to the grocery store and smiled at people and asked if they were having a great day so far, the easier it became.
Moreover, going to the grocery store became an “I get to do this” rather than “I have to do this.” Additionally, I saw it as an opportunity to spread goodwill and joy.
The end result was that I became friends with many people who worked at the grocery store. Also, they did not care about the Parkinson’s symptoms. They cared about me, and my smile, and my conversation.
I went to Starbucks once or twice a week. However, I became a “parent away from their parents” for the young people who worked there. I would come in and be greeted by, “Howard, I got an A on math test!” or “Howard, I saw you in the parking lot and your doppio is at the end of the counter.” (Some things did not change).
The end result was that I became friends with many people who worked at Starbucks as well. Also, they did not care about the Parkinson’s symptoms. They cared about me, and my smile, and my conversation, and sharing how they were doing in school.
Becoming comfortable in my own skin
It was through these interactions that I started becoming comfortable in my own skin. Also, I realized that I had not been comfortable in my own skin since childhood.
As a child, I was sensitive, like my mom. However, my dad would yell at me not to cry like a girl. Additionally, I was left-handed. However, my parents informed me that I was not left-handed and I spent my childhood being scolded, “put that in your other hand,” every time I went to do something and used my left hand.
I was being scolded for being me, not for doing something wrong. Also, it brought to my awareness in my recovery the reason I was not comfortable in my own skin.
However, I learned at the grocery, Starbucks, at other places, and with other people, that none of them cared about the Parkinson’s. Additionally, it was not just that they did not care about the Parkinson’s, they cared about me and accepted me just as I was.
I became comfortable in my own skin even though my own skin was wearing temporary symptoms know as Parkinson’s.
Conclusion
Sally was right.
Becoming comfortable in my own skin while my own skin was wearing temporary symptoms know as Parkinson’s made it much easier to envision being comfortable in my own skin when I no longer had Parkinson’s.
On June 11, 2010, when I surrendered the ego mind to God, just wanting to be authentic me, I let go of my remaining fears. Additionally, as you can read at the end of the Recipe, it says, “I am forgetting about my old self (Parkinson’s) and stepping into my new self (No Parkinson’s).”
Finally, I was comfortable in my own skin being authentically me. When I awoke the following morning, June 12, 2010, the last of the remaining symptoms were gone.
Here we are 15.5 years later, and I am still comfortable in my own skin, still smiling, and still asking everybody, “Are you having a great day so far?”
I am joy, I am grateful, I am blessed.
For those of you who have a difficult time getting out, smile at everybody who comes in and smile while talking to anybody with whom you speak on a call. Ask them, “Are you having a great day so far?” or some other question that you are comfortable asking. Also, make it a question to cause them to pause and think before they answer. Then, you have made a deeper connection.
Please post a comment below and let us know how good you feel inside when sharing with others the joy of a smile and some conversation!
You are worth it!!!
All my best,
Howard
Good morning Howard, this was a wonderful blog, part two of internal Joy was exactly what I needed for this morning. I’m getting ready to FaceTime one of my very best friends and we share openly and honestly about everything going on in our lives. What a blessing from God! Be encouraged everyone take it one day at a time and let’s spread joy to those we come in contact with together!
Howard, these are great instructions! What I am taking to heart is that joy is within and must be brought out to breathe and grow.
Thank you for this week’s blog and your faithful posts each week. I hope that you are having a great day!
I met recently with an old friend; in fact, the best man at my wedding. I had not seen him since the onset of my symptoms. I was nervous to share my situation. But I did, at the very beginning of our long lunch. And I did it with smiles and a sense of joy – no doom and gloom. He accepted my news as good news, likely because of how I conveyed it, in my best Howard-inspired version of myself.
We enjoyed a comfortable, joyful conversation for the rest of our lunch.
Great testimonials to Joy Part 2!! Can’t wait to try this and create some similar stories of my own to share.
Great blog post! Cultivating joy is a lost art I feel. The culture is so wrapped up in appearance and the (often) fake world of social media. It’s easy to hide away in fear of being honest. I love Howard’s opening question. I will try that today! We can bring joy to others with just a simple smile and question!
Thank you, Howard!
Are YOU enjoying your day so far?
I am, thank you :)
I love seeing the JOY in ENJOY!
And I am embracing wholeheartedly the spreading of joy as a Mission!
Joy to each of you, fellow Joy Warriors!
Great blog as usual. I will try to create and cultivate joy in each of my interaction at home, office or outside.
Howard and fellow warriors, have a wonderful weekend!
There is nothing I love more than connection with another human and sharing a smile and a chatty chat. This is when my light shines brightest. This is when I feel most at home.
And so it is…
Thank you, Howard for sharing
How wonderful Howard !
That’s how I felt today when getting coffee at my favourite cafe.
They know me and my long black order and never notice what my body is doing.
I’m simply Cath, the regular who likes a chat!
Some days lately I’ve refrained from going out as I had a bout of anxiety but I’m back out there mincing with life again thanks to Howard’s mentoring .
We are all such powerful beings and just need to understand that there are only 2 emotions to choose from JOY/LOVE or FEAR
I know the one I’m choosing!
Love and Joy to all you wonderful warriors xxx
Thank you Howard.
Giving and receiving joy is a true blessing. It’s amazing how when you know you have changed someone’s day for the better you get a lovely warm feeling inside. I will definitely keep spreading the smiles.
I had a great day yesterday, and additionally I had coaching online too! Looking forward to another great day today. Thank you so much Howard, Sally and everyone here : )
Thanks so much for these further thoughts on joy Howard. We (my husband and I) have taken on the “smile challenge” and we see how many smiles we get in return as we walk around. I love it when the most unlikely “victim” cracks a big one in response. And now, you have given me permission to start up conversations with strangers, something I used to do, but haven’t felt up to lately. I’m a bit out of practice but I’ll get back to my true self on this one.
In listening to an interview of Kate Bowler this week (a young mom diagnosed with advanced cancer and a university professor), she said, “Pain can carve out of you spaces that joy can then fill. Joy isn’t a solution but it feels like the closest thing to experiencing enoughness.”
I love it when someone puts my thoughts into words.
This loving community understands how precarious life can be. I think creating joy within requires me to put aside my individualism and see that we all belong to each other. We have to. I appreciate all us warriors more than I can say. It brings me joy to know you are here. Thank you Howard, for bringing us together 🙏
Thanks Howard for the great blog! I find I like talking to the cashiers in the grocery store. Sometimes I get the short version of their life story. Being a good listener is key. I feel joy if I am listening and being an encouragement wherever I can. It takes my mind off of me and my symptoms – a wonderful feeling!
‘Prior to having Parkinson’s, I was not good at “small talk” or initiating conversations. Moreover, it was my self-consciousness and years of bad feelings about myself that lead to uncomfortableness in social settings. I wanted to be invisible, not the center of attention.’
This is how I have been my whole life, probably due to my childhood family dynamics. I never expected a Parkinson’s blog to give me a route out of it.
Thank you Howard.
So much wonderful advice, thank you. I hope you’re all having a great day so far.
Finally had the opportunity to watch “Mission: Joy”, extraordinary!!
Reiterated that gratitude and joy go hand in hand.
Howard, in addition to giving me hope you’ve shown me that I can spread
some beneficial joy to others, how wonderful is that!!!
Smile…are you having a great day so far?
Thank you🙏🙏🙏
Why worry is so dangerous? When you worry, you are thinking thoughts that say God is not in control. You are thinking thoughts that say God is not good enough. What thoughts are you producing? Negative thoughts.
But… Are the negative thoughts solving the problem? No!
… Or are the negative thoughts making us healthier? No!
They are stealing our joy and strength!
Thank you Howard!!!
So true Constantinos!
Since I don’t get out much and I live alone, I’ve been sending text messages to friends letting them know that I’m thinking about them and then also asking about their day. The responses have been overwhelming. It’s amazing the kind of responses I’ve received— mostly day-to-day kind of stuff, but it really opens up each other‘s worlds. I feel closer to my friends now even though we’re far away from each other. And they’re sending pictures too. It’s a lot of joy!
#Temporary #Courageous #Limitless
Thank you Howard for the great blog!I always smile even now with Parkinson’s. I agree that Joy and gratitude can improve the symptoms and I believe that soon I will be fully recovered!
I hope you are all having a great day!
I am joy, I am grateful, I am blessed.
“Are you having a great day so far?”
Thanks, Howard
I feel grateful when I bond with a stranger or friend, especially when I remember that times are tough for people right now. Also the gifts we give bless us and are passed along to others as well. Thank you Howard for your blessings to us!
Nice perspective
Excerpt from my meditation:
I was drawn through the “gate to joy” and found myself standing before a temple-like structure with a large golden bell. I observed what was happening. A Buddhist in a rust-brown robe was looking at himself in a mirrored surface of water—childlike, with no hair, like a monk. I recognized myself in him: me. There was pure laughter and joy. The bell was struck and began to ring.
Then we stood facing each other, our gazes met, and we started to run—free and lighthearted. We flew a kite, embraced, let ourselves fall. There was love, joy, laughter, lightness—everything was there, and I could feel it. Now everything will be okay. I have found the key—to the gate, to joy. I gift you all a smile. Thank you, Howard!
Thank you, Howard, for this contribution. This is exactly what I had hoped for, and what you write about your old self reflects my own experience. I feel that this fear of being myself and not being accepted by others is the last and greatest fear that needs to be transformed — into joy.