Last week, I posted Fighting Parkinson’s, and choosing to follow your heart. At that time, I was not anticipating a part 2. However, quite a few people this week have asked, “How do I follow my heart when my mind won’t be quiet?” This prompted me to write today’s part 2.
The mind challenging the heart
I asked what the different people meant by “How do I follow my heart when my mind won’t be quiet?” The responses were similar. Also, they followed a general theme that looked like this:
“My heart wants a full recovery, and I want to follow my heart to my full recovery. However, my mind is filled with self-doubt, and then fear sets in. Also, no matter how many times I tell myself that worse looking symptoms are a sign of healing and recovery, my mind keeps telling me I am wrong. How do I quiet that mind?”
I began by explaining that I engaged in what I call self-talk. I would tell my mind, “You are incorrect. I am having my recovery no matter what anybody else thinks, you included.”
Self-talk quiets the mind
Additionally, the positive self-talk continued through my recovery as explained in the last blog post. When I was close to my full recovery, I would have occasional spurts of “normal” movement. On one particular day at the grocery store, the shopping cart took off down the aisle like it had turbo boosters. I was walking in full stride and fast for the first time in 8 months.
In that moment, my pesky mind jumped in with the first thought: “This cannot be happening; you have Parkinson’s.” However, as a result of continuously telling my mind, that it was incorrect and that I was having my recovery, I quickly responded, “This IS happening; I am getting better.”
When you look at my knee-jerk mind’s reaction to a recovery event, my mind was in complete denial of reality. Also, this was an old bad habit of denying the reality of something good happening in my life. The reality was that I was flying down the aisle of the grocery store. However, my mind was saying, “This cannot be happening.” Even in the face of a clear recovery event, my Parkinson’s mind could not handle it and tried to talk me out of it.
Then it hit me for the first time why this was so hard. For me back then, and for you now, positivity in healing and recovery from Parkinson’s created CONFLICT!
Conflict
People with Parkinson’s tend to be conflict avoiders, or should I say professional conflict avoiders. You, and me back then, tend to avoid conflict by making the other people happy. Additionally, the making other people happy often is to our own detriment.
Conflict avoidance causes you to not speak your truth (how you really feel). Positive self-talk means conflict within yourself.
Positive self-talk and internal conflict
Why does positive self-talk present such a big internal conflict?
Because, it is the neurologists, some well-meaning but non-supportive family members and friends, and most of the rest of the people on the planet who are telling you that you cannot get better from Parkinson’s. You feel that telling yourself that you are getting better is the equivalent of telling it directly to all of them. Your mind tells you that you do not want conflict with them, so your should not use self-talk and create conflict with your own mind.
However, your truth is that you are following your heart and actually healing and having your recovery with the rest of us.
Simply put, your mind cannot handle this conflict. Additionally, your mind flat out denies the reality of your healing and recovery. This causes you to struggle, absolutely struggle, to tell your mind, “You are incorrect. I am having my recovery no matter what anybody else thinks, you included.”
All of you know that when you fail to speak your truth of healing and recovery to your own mind or others, the symptoms get worse. Why? Because you failed to speak your truth for fear of upsetting the other people. Additionally, this is true even if you are only saying this to yourself. You avoid conflict with them, but you create so much internal conflict with yourself.
Speaking your truth wins the day!
However, it is why, in the end, I realized I needed to resolve my life-long-conflict-avoidance-make the-other-people-happy-even-at-my-own-expense issue. It looked like this: “There is not one person on this planet worth me continuing to have Parkinson’s just to make them happy. I need to be happy first, and that is not selfish…IT IS NECESSARY!”
I have discussed this with many people with Parkinson’s over the last week, and everybody has agreed that this is the critical issue. Also, I do not think they were just agreeing with me to avoid conflict.
This internal conflict is real. Your symptoms will get worse when you fail to speak your truth. Additionally your truth is the truth you are feeling when choosing to follow your heart. The reason you are failing to speak your truth is because your mind is telling you that somebody will not like what you are feeling in your heart and it may cause you conflict.
Also, you feel you cannot win. Speak your truth and maybe have conflict with somebody else. Don’t speak your truth and guarantee you will have internal conflict within yourself. Nobody said this would be easy.
Finally, you have the choice to speak your truth or not, to be authentic and genuine with yourself or not, to express how you feel in your heart or not. The “or not” choice is based upon fear of conflict. However, the fear is of a conflict that may or may not occur in the future. Additionally, the “or not” choice guarantees the kind of internal conflict that helped you get Parkinson’s and will inhibit your healing and recovery.
Conclusion: Speak your truth and win the day!!
I am having my healing and recovery no matter what anybody else thinks!
Feel your healing and recovery in every fiber of your body, down to the depths of your soul. Make the choice that supports your truth, your authenticity, your genuineness of who you are in your heart. And, do it fearlessly!
Speak your truth! Choose to follow your heart to your full recovery! Do the Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery®! Smile and be joyful and grateful!
We are all in this life together supporting each other, the courageous Recipe Warriors!!! Speak your truth and win the day!!!
Please post a comment below letting us know how you are doing in speaking your truth that you are having your healing and recovery no matter what anybody else thinks.
You are worth it!!!
All my best,
Howard
Thank you Howard for today’s message, indeed the internal conflict I experience quiet often & I thought I am the only one who does this. Many a times I feel a lot normal & I have realized when it’s happening I tend to judge myself & yes it’s that self talk that calms me down & I revert to normal mode prior to PD. I walk around saying “thank you for full recovery” & this keeps me positive, “It’s okay” also helps me a lot. I AM ON MY WAY TO FULL RECOVERY ANYTIME.
What a wonderful post Howard thank you!
I am doing amazing in this area of speaking my truth. As I move closer to becoming my true authentic self, speaking my truth has to be part of it in order to be able to continue the healing. What I understand now, is how difficult it was for most of my life to be in any uncomfortable moment for any period of time. Now, I’m able to sit in an uncomfortable moment, trust my true authentic self and trust in the universe that all is well. This is how I know I have come home. The trust starts with me.
And so it is…
I know that negative self-talk intensifies my symptoms. Every day I commit myself to healing to overcome this negative self-talk.
I have the power to heal myself.
I am having my healing and recovery no matter what anybody else thinks!
Following my heart to full recovery, primarily for me, depends on my full acceptance of where I am at right now in my recovery! Step by step, moment to moment, trusting in Jesus, my Lord and Savior, to guide and strengthen me all the way to full recovery from my Parkinson’s symptoms! May God bless each and every one of you! Gary
I have to admit that I still lack some of the strength I used to have. But last week I had a special experience. I did a legs-and-abs exercise with 89 repetitions (and I could have kept going). It felt so light and easy, just like it used to. Normally I had to stop after 20. It was such a striking experience, so unusual, that I thought (my mind thought) maybe it was a dream?
My mind and my heart are having conversations. But Howard is the reason I trust my heart more. We have the luxury of knowing you, someone who is “recovering.” You didn’t have that luxury, dear Howard, and you still made it. Now you are guiding us. We are truly privileged.
You deserve that we fully heal. I promise I will do my best, because only that is good enough for you. When doubts arise in my mind, I think of you—it’s actually that simple. I have no problem with the truth. I tell everyone, including the doctors, anyone who asks.
Your posts motivate me greatly. Without them, I would forget quite a lot. Today was a beautiful day. We can do this. We will resolve the conflict.
Many thanks to all of you, to life, to the universe, to the divine—and to you, dear Howard.
Thanks, Howard, for this wonderful post. There’s absolutely no doubt about the internal conflict I experience daily. I guess the impression imprinted on my mind by the scientific and medical community -beleiving them as a very rational – is so powerful that it constantly argues against my recovery faith and always focuses on increased symptoms.
I try to bring this argument to an end by refocusing on the wins— almost all non-motor symptom reliefs- I’ve gained from following a holistic routine. I’m looking forward to the day when faith will overpower my mind 100% of the time; that point will be my recovery day. No matter how long it takes, I’m working patiently to reach that point.
Powerful!
I’m lost for words . . . this post says it all!
Thank you Howard. Your words of encouragement are uplifting, invaluable!
As a people pleaser, I confess that I have fallen into the trap of creating internal conflict rather than have conflict with others. This blog is a reminder that it is necessary to take care of myself first. I need to remember that it is not a selfish thing to do. Just like any airline safety instructions include putting on your own Oxygen mask first before helping others in an emergency.
Thank you Howard and fellow Recipe warriors for this reminder.
Yes, I too recognize the pattern in me, which defaults to internal conflict/keeping myself small/ tense/ stiff inside — only to avoid conflict with others.
I realize more and more that there is no one to please.
The Divine loves me exactly as I am.
I mirror this love more and more every day.
Thank you, Howard, for the abundance of insight and inspiration.
Thank you, fellow Recovery warriors, for being there, and for doing the inner work.
We are all recovering, and we are all worth it!
I correct my mind and I commit to making my intentions to heal clear to others.
I am having my healing and recovery no matter what anybody else thinks!
We are all in this life together supporting each other, we ARE the courageous
Recipe Warriors!!!
Let’s speak our truth and win the day!
All of us are worth it……so grateful to you Howard for showing us the way.
This says it all —
“I am having my healing and recovery no matter what anybody else thinks!
Feel your healing and recovery in every fiber of your body, down to the depths of your soul. Make the choice that supports your truth, your authenticity, your genuineness of who you are in your heart. And, do it fearlessly!
Speak your truth! Choose to follow your heart to your full recovery! Do the Parkinson’s Recipe for Recovery®! Smile and be joyful and grateful!”
#Temporary #Overcomer
I am having my healing and recovery no matter what anybody else thinks!
We are overcomers and we are worth our healing!
Great message Howard and very timely!
Thank you